(Not) Your Guardian

14- Sadness Turns To Anger

A/N- This book has hit 2K reads, thank you guys so much! Also if you've been feeling down go check the latest chapter in my RANT book called Self Image. I shared an article/note by a lady named Audi Anderson and it's absolutely fantastic

In the past two weeks since Brendon had stormed out of my apartment, he's texted, called, and come to my door numerous times wanting to talk and apologize, but I refused to respond.

I knew he didn't genuinely mean any of it yet. I knew he hadn't learned enough to actually change. Ignoring him like that has been the hardest thing I'd ever done. It took everything I had to not let him into my apartment, hug him, and accept his apologies. 

Eventually, he gave up, something of which I was thankful for, because I was getting ready to cave in. The only way I could now know what was going on with Brendon was his social media profiles. I'm not ashamed I stalked each one of them every night, trying to get a sense on how he was doing. 

He was still partying almost every night, but I hadn't seen any pictures of him and Ryan lately. He used to post pictures of them kissing and drinking all the time, but now there was none.

Did they break up? I honestly hope so; Ryan was one of the worst of Brendon's friends.

Thankfully, I had gotten the job at the music store I applied to so I had something to distract me during the days. I honestly loved working there, the manager and all my co-workers were really nice, and most of the time I was able to have great conversations with the customers who came in here.

However, one day while I was working, Brendon came in looking for a guitar. I saw him enter the store, so before he saw me I hid behind some shelves on the opposite side of the store from him.

This was going well, until my manager Austin called out, "Dallon, Gerard! Come over here, I need you guys to stock the shelves!"

I cringed and cursed Austin in my mind as I made my way to the front of the store, running into my bright red-haired co-worker Gerard on the way up there.

Austin put Gerard in charge of stocking the CDs and vinyls, which are on the opposite side of the store from the guitars I might add, and he put me in charge of stocking guitar, bass, and ukulele strings.

I carried to boxes over to the appropriate side of the store, and that was where I saw Brendon browsing through the electric guitars. He looked up when he heard me walking towards him and gave me a small grin.

"I thought I heard him call your name. So you're working here now? That's cool." I just simply nodded my head and continued over to the small wire rack where we hang to packs of strings up and began to open up the cardboard boxes.

"Um, can you help me out here really quick? I'm wanting to start playing again, but I don't really know much so..."

If it wasn't for me being able to earn commission for selling something to him, and my undying itch to talk to him again I would've said no, that I was too busy. However, I couldn't help myself and said sure.

"If you're going to start again, start with an acoustic. They're a little bit harder to play than an electric because the strings are thicker and you have to press down harder at the frets, but when you get good at it it'll be a breeze to switch over to electric. People who start with electric have a harder time getting used to an acoustic." I explained as I lead him over to where the acoustics were hung on the wall.

I knew money was no object to him, so I pulled down one of the more expensive, higher quality ones.

"This is a really good one."

He nodded his head and mumbled his thanks as he gingerly took the guitar out of my hands and looked at it. He looked at the price, a little over $900, and didn't even bat an eyelash as he declared he'd take it. I lead him to get a tuner and some picks for the guitar, and on our way over he tried to engage me in a conversation again.

"So, how have you been? Anything new?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I got this job. Other than that I've just been relaxing and enjoying my free time." I pulled a pack of picks off the shelf for him and handed them to him before continuing on to where the tuners were set up.

"What about you?"

"Um, about the same. You'll be happy to know I'm not with Ryan anymore. That asshole cheated on me with some guy named Jon."

"I tried to warn you about him..." I said quietly under my breath as I grabbed a tuner and handed that to Brendon as well.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'I told you so' I get it." He waved me off.

"Um anyways, thanks for helping me with this." I let out a fake gasp.

"What's this? Brendon Urie is telling me thank you? When he's sober?" Brendon just scoffed and rolled his eyes at me before continuing without me to the checkout counter.

I grinned and went back to put up the strings before I got in trouble with Austin for slacking off or something. I got off work around six, so I went to a small diner down the street so I wouldn't have to cook dinner.

After that I went back to my apartment, immediately kicking off my shoes and sighing in relief. I changed into more comfortable clothes and plopped down on the couch, sending out a few texts to my current grand total of three friends before turning on the TV to see what was on.

I ended up accidentally staying awake until three AM watching a Criminal Minds marathon. I yawned and turned off the TV, deciding to check a few things on my phone before heading off to bed.

While scrolling through my Instagram feed, I was stopped by a picture of Brendon's face with blood pouring out of his nose and from a split in his lip.

The caption read "Shout-out to my asshole friends, well I guess that all depends on what you qualify as friends, for ditching me yet again when I needed them."

My heart hurt a bit as I looked at the picture. I could've been there to stop that if he'd just see reason. If he had listened to me years ago, I still would've been his Curatrix and able to keep stuff like that from happening.

I could still be in Dimidium with familiar surroundings, lush nature, and the ability to teleport.

My sympathy towards Brendon started to shift to anger.

Because of him, I had to tear myself away from the place I called home in order to finally get some peace and quiet. To be able to sleep through the night without being woken up to help break up a drunken bar fight or answer some redundant question.

If he wasn't my human, my parents wouldn't have known his. They wouldn't have gone to that business meeting. If Brendon wasn't my human, my parents might still be alive right now.

I let out a scream of anger and threw my phone across the room, not caring if it broke or if I woke up my neighbors.

Fuck you Brendon Boyd Urie, you took everything from me.

I hope you get beat up again tomorrow night. I hope your friends ditch you. I hope you lose everything you thought was important. I hope you end up spending nights crying alone in your apartment wishing you had somebody to comfort you.

Because then you'll know exactly how you made me feel every day for the past seven years.