Lily ran. Ran as fast as she could. She tore through the trees, though the damp grass, her heart in her throat. She hadn't even realised she still had those memories; she'd been so sure she'd managed to block them out. She didn't want them back; she wanted to forget them all, forget them forever.
Lily stopped at the cupboard doors, opened them, and crawled through. Her heart was pounding, her head full of what she'd just seen. Safely inside her bathroom, she closed her eyes and leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath, slow her pulse.
She didn't want to remember ever again.
For years Lily had blocked out all memory of her parents' divorce. She couldn't remember a thing. But she knew that if one thing was remembered, everything else would slowly but surely spill back into her head. Already she was starting to remember the look on her father's face when she had chosen to go with her mother.
She was starting to remember everything. The fights. The threats. The concern of her teachers, her old friends, relatives, who could all see the inevitable, who could all see the split coming, before she could. The way she used to hide under the kitchen table during the fights, her eyes tightly shut, fingers jammed into her ears.
No. She wouldn't. She had to forget. She had to.
Lily forced herself to think of other things - anything. Why couldn't she be worried about her new school? That would have taken her mind off the Cupboard. But Lily was never worried about new schools anymore. Her survival technique was generallly to shut her mouth and ignore people.
She started unpacking again.
***
"Lily! Come and eat!" called Sarah, hours later.
"Coming!" Lily replied, straightening the pillows on her bed, and folding one last t-shirt. She had managed to unpack every item she owned in less than three hours, a new record. She was glad dinner was ready; she was hungry. Walking through the woods inside your bathroom Cupboard seemed to be hard work.
Their dinner was on the table, a casserole, a new dish Harriet was trying out. Lily's plate was piled high and she noticed a cup full of her favourite drink, Blue Zappy. She was surprised. Zappy was an energy drink notorious for making kids hyper. She was barely ever allowed to drink it, only on special days like birthdays and Christmas - when she drank it, it made her sort of crazy.
"What's the occasion?" She asked as she sat down, pointing to the Blue Zappy.
"Duh," grinned her mother, "We just moved house,"
Lily had no idea what was so special about moving house.
"And? We move house four times a year. We always do. What's the big deal?" she pointed out.
"Not anymore," announced Harriet, smiling proudly.
"What do you mean?" asked Lily, wondering if Harriet had been at the Blue Zappy before her. They always moved house. All the time.
"Well, Lily, Harriet's been promoted. That's why we moved, to be nearer her workbase, and - well, now it's right next to us."
"We won't need to move anymore," Harriet promised.
***
They wouldn't be moving again. Lily went upstairs that night, feeling satisfied that this time, they would settle.
The last thing she thought of as she tucked herself into bed was the Cupboard.
The memories were coming back.
Maybe she couldn't stop them.
YOU ARE READING
Cupboard Narnia
FantasyLily is always moving house. She had been since she was six, and her parents split her, her Mum marrying a TV chef called Harriet. Lily hasn't seen her twin, Lucy, or her father for years. Everything is as normal as it ever is around her - until she...
