Lost in Anxiety

Time Bomb- All Time Low

Chapter 9: Time Bomb- All Time Low

From the get-go I knew this was hard to hold
Like a crash the whole thing spun out of control
Oh, on a wire, we were dancing
Two kids, no consequences
Pull the trigger, without thinking
There's only one way down this road

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode
And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you go
We're like a time bomb
Gonna lose it, let's defuse it
Baby, we're like a time bomb
But I need it
Wouldn't have it any other way

Dr. Green led me to her office and I sat down, avoiding eye contact.
"What's changed?" She asked me calmly. I shrugged, having no idea why my nightmares would be coming back. Everything was going great, there seemed to be no reason as to why it should occur.
"Well," I said after thinking. "My parents are sober now, and I moved in with Ashton for the time being to give my parents some breathing space to think. And other than that, I have no idea."
"Do you trust Ashton?" Dr. Greene asked me, very serious.
I nodded my head, confident in my answer. "I trust all the boys, but i'm so worried that it's all going to happen again. Cause well, I guess i'm kinda involved with a friend named Luke-"
"Yes, I know him," Dr. Greene interrupted. I wanted to ask, but I knew that she couldn't say anything.
"Okay, um, anyway, he is from my past daycare, he was there when I needed him, but he left. Not purposely or willingly, but it still hurt, hurts. Now that he's back; I don't know what to do." I explained wearily.
I really hate therapy, but it's for the best I guess (hey that rhymed XD).
Sometimes I feel as if this world isn't real, and I want to believe that it's not and that I will wake up to a happier place because, I feel lost and scared and I just can't understand what I'm feeling.
Other times, I feel crazy, and so happy, I feel as if I want to do everything but nothing, and I feel every emotion but no emotion and I feel as if I'm super hyper and I talk at 100 miles an hour, and I feel so confused.
I explained all this to Dr.Greene and about how I can't seem to overcome my social anxiety. I kept wondering how she knows Luke.
"My nightmares are back, and may-maybe it's because I'm worried about my parents, that they will never change," I began, sighing hesitantly, not wanting to admit my anxiety, I continued.
"And that Luke will leave me again, as well as Ash. And as much as I hate to admit it," I took a deep breathe, "I'm scared, but I can do it, I know I can, I just don't want to be hurt again, I don't think I could handle it. Right now, I know my negative emotions are in control, and I'm slowly working my way to winning back my life. And I know that if I don't make peace with my emotions and my mind, it will start a war, one I will not win," I paused and she nodded for me to continue.
I didn't know what to say so I thought for a bit, then decided to quote a song; Time Bomb by All Time Low to be exact.
"It's like a time set into motion, destined to explode. But if I work with them, then maybe, just maybe, I will win. I can, with help." I let out a quick 'hmmm' and admitted no matter how much I don't want it, I do need some guidance and help.
"Well I'm glad your mental state is getting better, but for the nightmares, drink some warm milk and melatonin, to put you out for the night okay?" She asked/stated.
I nodded my head and left her office. I saw Ashton and the boys looking around, panicked, looking for me. I walked up to them and they all sighed with relief.

Well there's no way out of this
So let's stay in
Every storm that comes,
Also comes to an end.
Oh, resistance is useless
Just two kids stupid and fearless
Like a bullet shooting the love-sick
There's only one way down this road

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode
And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you go
We're like a time bomb
Gonna lose it, let's defuse it
Baby, we're like a time bomb
But I need it
Wouldn't have it any other way

Luke's POV
I was freaking out, as well as the boys. We couldn't find Lyra! What if something happened to her? We were looking through the halls on the therapy floor, when Lyra walked up to us with a worried look.
"Where were you? We were so worried!" I asked, and she giggled, probably because she thought we were overreacting.
"Relax. I was just talking to Dr. Greene." She explained, and the more I looked at her, the more I could tell she was sad, the look in her eyes gave her away.
The one thing I don't understand is that she had that playful look until she looked at me.