The Girl That Changed Everything

Four

Stacey. It took me forever to get over her, but I was in fact over her. She still held a place in my heart of course. I still cared about her and she knew that. I wish her the best in her life, because she'll always have a significant part in mine.

I sigh before closing my laptop. Stacey has been on my mind all day even though I don't want her to be. I was hoping to be with Kylie today at lunch but she was nowhere to be found and I hadn't seen Stacey since the morning. The house was empty and I could feel the silence surrounding me. I felt trapped. I grabbed my house keys and left the house.

Before I knew where I was going I was at Stacey's house. There weren't any cars in the driveway so I knew no was was home, but the door was unlocked so I knew Stacey was there. I walk into the house, it's the same as the last time I was over years ago. The T.V. in the living room is on but I walk past it to Stacey's room.

"Ciara?" I hear Stacey's voice come from behind me and turn around. "What are you doing here?" I'm silent for a few seconds, "I need to apologize, for what I said this morning. I'm..." Stacey holds up her hand, "you don't need to apologize. I deserved every part of that after what I've done to you. I ruined your life and I hurt you. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I'm sorry Ciara."

She's standing in front of me now and gently wipes the tears I didn't know were falling. Then her lips are pressed to mine and she's kissing me. It takes me a few seconds to realize what's happening then I step back. "Stacey..." I say softly and she looks down. "I still love you." Her voice is so soft as she says it I can barely hear her. "You... No, you don't Stacey. I'm sorry, I should go."

I start to walk away and I get to the front door before I hear her. "Ciara I'm in love with you." Her voice cracks and I know she's crying. It takes all my strength not to go over to her. "Goodbye Stacey," I say without looking back. As I walk home I feel like I had just broken up with her again and my heart aches.

~+~+~+~+~

It's hard to go through things when you have no one to talk to or give you advice. It's times like these when I wish I had my mom and dad to talk to. We were so close. I told them every secret I ever had and every person I had ever had a crush on. Now I just felt lonely. The only other person I had opened up to was Stacey and I couldn't talk to her about her. Her words stay in my mind. I know she meant them, but I don't love her, not how I did before. Do I?

Frustrated I slam my laptop shut and put it on the charger before laying down and staring at the ceiling. At some point I fall asleep, but toss and turn all night. The next morning I wake up with a sore neck.