Falling With No Grace

~Ashley

"Thank you guys! You've been amazing! We are the Black Veil Brides!" Andy screams into the mic over the uproar of the fans. I watch from my side of the stage; they are completely mesmerized by him. They're waving their hands and demanding an encore, but we're already way past the time we should have been off stage. I sigh, I wish I could play more too. I love playing in BVB, especially in front of a crowd this big, but we're being signed from our manager that we have to leave. We all wave to the fans and walk off.

We're joking and laughing on the way to the bus, totally hyped up from the energy of the concert. "Damn that was fucking awesome!" CC says laughing, high-fiving Jinxx and Jake . "They fucking loved it." Jinxx high-fives me and walks onto the bus, body slamming onto the couch. I roll my eyes. He always does that after concerts; just flops onto the nearest soft surface and stays there. I giggle (yes I giggle, have a problem with that?) and go grab a beer from the fridge.

"Yo, Ash! Pass me one?" Andy says, crawling onto the bus. He's covered in sweat and his war paint is running; he gets so active on stage, so eager to please everyone. I shrug and toss him a cold one. He smiles at me. "Thanks, Ashy." My heart stops as he's smiling at me and I just sort of stare at him. This has been happening a lot recently. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's creeping me out. Sometimes I'll look at him and my heart will go crazy, or we'll be joking around and he'll laugh and my face will burn. I blame it on being hungover almost every day, but that cant be it, can it? Maybe I'm sick or something? I mean, this hasn't happened before...

Suddenly I realize a pair of fingers snapping in front of my face. "Ashley! Yo, you in there?" Andy snaps his fingers in my face. I shake me head, getting back to reality. Did I just space out there? Oops...

"Yeah man, sorry. I'm just tired after that concert. You totally rocked it Andy!" I say, patting his shoulder. He smiles again and I fight back a blush. Seriously, something isn't right here.

"Thanks Ash. You we're awesome too. You're always amazing onstage" he chirps. I blush, from the compliment or his smile, I don't know. I really hope he thinks it's from the compliment.

"Thanks, Andy," I take a swig of my beer and gather myself, "that means a lot." I check the wall clock. "Dude, it's 12:47, I think I'm gonna hit the sack. See you guys in the morning." I move out of the kitchen and walk towards the back of the bus to the bunk beds, hearing a chorus of "Goodnight!" behind me.There are three bunk beds. I sleep on the bottom bunk of one with Jake above me. Jinxx and Andy share the second one, Jinxx on the top bunk. CC has the third all to himself, lucky bastard.

I strip of my shirt and my skinny jeans and put on pyjama pants. After downing the rest of my beer--the only one I've had all night--I slip into my bed. I cover my eyes with my hands. I'm getting so sick of being like this around Andy. I don't know what it is! He smiles, I blush. He touches me, I blush. I feel like a lovesick schoolgirl. But I don't like Andy like that. Andy has been my best friend since we started playing together, I can't have a crush on him or something...right? I mean, that would mean I'm gay. I'm not gay, I've banged so many sluts before, some of them even in this room. But that would make sense...

I facepalm. No, Ashley. You don't have a crush on your best friend. You are not gay. Don't get me wrong, I am so not homophobic, but I've always been into girls. Always. I've never felt like this towards a boy before, let alone the lead singer of my band! Ugh, this is so confusing. This has been going on for the past few weeks. At first I thought nothing of it [other than the fact Andy was looking really cute] and I just did my thing as usual, but it's consistent! Oh well, I sigh, turning over to sleep, I guess I'll just fucking deal with this tomorrow.

Turning on my side, I fell asleep to unwelcome dreams of a certian black haired singer...