Falling With No Grace

Not Alone After All

~Ashley

I ran. Like a little girl. Just because he decided to flirt with Maria.

God I'm pathetic.

I just got so mad! How dare he do that in front of me? Doesn't he realize I was right there?? I just fucking walked away because I couldn't stand to watch him flirt with someone else, even though I've seen him do it a thousand times. I stop walking and put my head in my hand. This is really fucking with me.

Suddenly Jinxx comes around the corner. He bumps right into me, not noticing I was there, and frowns. "Oh sorry!" I fake a smile and tell him it's alright. He starts looking suspicious. "Are you alright, Ashley? I didn't run into you that hard, did I?"

"No," I giggle softly, "I'm just pissed because I saw Andy flirting with Maria. I fucking ran like a girl! God this is screwing with me. No wonder he wont let me talk to him. Seriously this is ridiculous." I shake my head and sigh. Fuck my fucking life.

"That singer chick? I don't think she's his type. Trust me, it'll all blow over. I mean, she's pretty and all, but it's not exactly Andy's type." Jinxx tries to assure me. I scoff and roll my eyes.

"Well what is his type? I don't think I am. I mean, hey, I might get confused for one, but I'm really not a girl. And she sort of is, so..."

"Don't say that. I'm gonna go talk to him. Go get your bass, we're on soon." He pats my shoulder and heads in the direction of the stage. I sigh and grab my bass. I walk back towards the stage and see Jinxx talking with Andy. He looks sort of mad. Oh, thats not good. I walk out of their way and wait until Andy gets onstage before I move towards the entrance. The roaring of the crowd calms me down and the anger disappears. This is truly what I live for. I'm not going to let some petty wannabe romance screw up my performance tonight. I smile and play the first few cords of Savoir and let the music flow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Nice job, guys! We rocked it!" Jake comes over and us all high-fives. I smile at Jake and giggle. He's always like this at the end of concerts. He sits down in between Andy and CC on a couch backstage and grabs for a water bottle.

Andy laughs, slaping Jake on the back. "Hell yeah! When don't we?"

"Ashes, you were rocking that bass tonight! What got you so fired up?" CC asked, smiling at me. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Andy looking at me. He actually doesn't look angry. Maybe I can talk to him now.

"I don't know man, it was an awesome crowd. Just loved being up there." I smile back at him. It's true. The energy the crowd was giving us was amazing! It was probably the best show we've ever done.

"Yeah we could tell, bro. God that was so cool!" Jake, CC and Jinxx kept raving about the show. Andy just sat there, listening with a smile on his face. Jesus, can he be any more beautiful? I found myself staring and I looked down feeling awkward. I decided to put away my bass, so I quietly got up and left the room. And promptly walked straight into someone.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" I looked up from the ground where'd I fallen and saw Maria. She smiles down at me.

"No problem, here," she said offering me her hand. I took it and half-smiled. Nice, pretty, and she can sing. No wonder Andy likes her so much.

"Hey, are you alright? You look sad." I guess my thoughts must have shown. She frowned at me, waiting patiently for me to speak.

"Yeah I'm fine. I've just had a weird day, is all. Trying to figure stuff out." I sigh.

"Stuff about Andy, right?"

My eyes widen. "W-what? No. What about A-Andy?" I mentally slap myself. Yeah, that wasn't suspicious.How did she know?

"You don't have to hide it. It's pretty obvious you have a thing for him. Don't worry I won't tell if you don't want me to." She gave me a smile and I look down, not meeting her eyes.

"H-how obvious is it?" Well there's no point denying it, is there?

"Pretty obvious, sorry. But it's cute. I didn't know you were gay, Ashley."

"I'm not." She raises her eyebrow. "Well, I think I might be bisexual. I don't think I'm completely gay." She giggles, smiling at me.

"Honey, I'm bisexual! My gaydar's pretty good, too. I know you're totally gay." I freeze for a second. Did I hear her right?

"You're bi?" She laughs and nods. Well, that's news.

"Yeah I am. I got so much hell for it growing up, too. Did you see my bassist, the tall brunette with the short hair?" I nod. "That's my girlfriend. Her name's Ariel. She's lesbian, and we've been dating for eight months. Our anniversary is next week." She grins at me.

Oh.

"So, wait...You're not interested in Andy?" I can't help but ask. I mean, c'mon. It’s Andy!

She giggles again, covering her mouth with her hand. "No! I mean, he's nice and all, and he's one of my favorite singers, but I don't like him like that. I love Ariel, so much. Don't worry, you have no competition from me." She leans in and gives me a hug.I let out a sigh of relief and hug back. Oh, thank God!

"You should tell him, you know." she whispers in my ear. "You don't have to tell him you like him. Just tell him you're gay. You can't just tell him everything all at once, he might freak out. I think you should go for it, though. You'd be great together."

I smile and hug her tighter, my leather jacket constricting me a bit. "Thanks, that means a lot. And happy anniversary."

She giggles into my ear. "Thanks!" She leans back, meeting my eyes. "If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can tell me. Keep me posted, okay? I want to know how everything's going." She pushes me playfully in the way I came. "Now go tell him! He deserves to know." She walks past me, patting my back comfortingly as she goes. I smile and put away my bass, walking into the room where the band is lounging around. I walk up and stand next to Andy.

"Hey Andy? Can I talk to you for a second?"

~

NOTE:

Hi guys! WOW it's been a long time! Gosh, I am sO sorry. I'll be updating this as much as I can from now on. Please don't hate me! I love you guys<3