I Found Myself In You..

The Unknown Tragedy..

"You said you'll wait but I didn't believe you..Came back after a decade to still find you waiting with that ring on..I regretted on that more than I have on anything in life.."
~anonymous..
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Armaan's POV,
Mom had fallen ill..she actually had diabetes and BP too..so I guess something went wrong..
I was worried..dad and I took her to the hospital..

When we reached there we were taking the appointment when I saw Mayrah's name written in the list..stated two days back..
Nah I thought again..I was just thinking too much..there are like so many Mayrahs here it couldn't be her..

I continued to move towards the doctors room with my parents..
We sat down in the waiting area..infront of his room..praying that my mom would be just fine..

I turned around when I heard Mayrah's name being mentioned by the doctor and the nurse..again no it can't be her..maybe it's just someone else..I left it..I was supposed to fill in some forms and when I went for that..

I saw something.. something which got my whole world to collapse down .. it was Mayrah Khan's file..and the dad's name was same too..
And the disease was c..c..cancer...
I just couldn't..nah it was a nightmare of mine

A clear dream I was just seeing things this possibly can't be true can it? Oh no ways it can't! Nah I'm not believing this..I felt my eyes getting teary I wanted to shout and scream..how could this happen?how can something so bad happen to a person like her?...

Who was so good, who always did good to others..who just wanted the betterment of others..
I wanted to scream..I couldn't breathe, I wanted air.. I submitted the form and ran out..
I breathed..but my chest had become too tight..all of a sudden everything is wrong.. everything in my life has gone wrong..

No...this cant be happening I tried to smile..I just couldn't accept something like that happening to a person like her...life can be unfair but That unfair? No..this is a dream..I gotta wake up....

But reality was itself..It turned out to be true.. I couldn't believe my eyes..I couldn't believe the fate..I couldn't scream..I tried but the voice wouldn't come out..and then a tear dropped from the end of my eye..no..no..this..is..not..happening..I told myself..tried to control..I tried and then I got a call from dad..

He asked me where I was..he asked where I had gone..and what had happened..I told him I'd be there..I tried to get a hold of myself..she looked weak..she looked so weak dammit..
'You couldn't understand..you couldn't support her..she is in so much pain and you couldn't help her!'I told myself..

I tried to get a hold of myself, controlled my tear glands and went inside..my voice was hoarse..
I couldn't accept this..life can't be doing this with me..with her..with.....US..

I didn't speak when I got back and just gave them a smile..they went in..I went with them..it was fine Alhamdulillah..
As we were heading towards home, I told Dad to drop me off to nearby mosque..I told him I had a little work there..thank God no questions were asked..I knew where to go to get even a little bit of peace..

As I went inside..I prayed two rikah nafl...and cried..cried that bad things can't happen with good people..fought that life couldn't take away all what I loved! First my grandma..the one who was my friend..my personal diary my everything a guy would want..na I was close to my mom..but grandma and I were like same team so whenever I was in trouble she knew it..those were days..

Now are days..when I don't have her by my side..but I..I had to fall for her didn't I? Why Mayrah..of all the people I asked myself..then again..I knew the answer..she brings it out in me..she does something to me no one else can..she makes me feel that I am the best..or at least I was to myself with her..it was as though what grandma told came true..that one day one beautiful girl will take me away from her..but we were always promising each other to be there in the same teams..

She left me before..and now I have a threat of losing Mayrah..no
No
No
I can't let that happen..no Allah won't do that would he..
But why would he...he wouldn't!
I just prayed..and stopped crying.. I had to ask her..I had to ask her why she didn't tell me..I had to know a lot of things..I just had to...

I felt at peace after praying..I was ready to pray everyday..for Mayrah..for us..
It mattered..a lot..and I knew how important it was for her to recover..not just for herself and her family..but for me also..
I wasn't gonna lose another member dear to me..

I reached home..no questions again Alhamdulillah..I reminded mom to have her medicine..and went to bed eventually..doesn't mean I could sleep..
I wasn't able to..it didn't happen..and somehow I found myself crying in tahajjud again..for a somebody..somebody who meant a lot to me..not all of a sudden..it was a series of events..I wanted to do everything to be able to save her..she was gonna be with me and be fine.. inshallah I told myself and then dozed off after praying..

It was fajr..I woke up..my eyes felt heavy and burdened..and my head ached..due to crying and staying awake for a long time I guess..
I prayed fajr and went out sleep again..na it was a Sunday so no college..it was a university but we didn't call it that..huge name you know..

"How r u bro?" I received a message from zeesh..I didn't feel like replying.i felt like migrating from this world..and from reality ..I can't keep this in anymore..I need to ask her why she hid it from me..I need to know..

I wanted to be there..I wanted to be THERE..for HER..
Always..and I don't get to know what's happening in her life..she's goddamn suffering and I didn't know..I need to know..I needed to know anyways..

As I was about to get out of the house heading toward hers..i stopped.and decided I couldn't face her..how could I..but why can't I then..I was confused..i didn't know what to do.. I guess..I can't even speak to her..maybe I can message her? No, I think I should speak to her..

But guests had come by the time I decided and I was delayed by yet another event..I wanted to find answers in time because questions just kept increasing..
Things,complicated..and I wanted to know.........know EVERYTHING..

I headed out after they were gone..headed towards her home..my mind was filled with a gazillion stuff..what would I tell her? What if her mom wouldn't let me talk to her..do I go now..or wait till tomorrow at the uni..then I just made my mind..to go to zeeshan's place..

I needed answers, yes but I had to wait too..so that things didn't get too complicated..because they already were too complicated..
Tomorrow I'm gonna ask her..I am..and I will know..

Meanwhile..I saw a small girl eating kulfi..I..I remembered her..she..the one..who ate that way..with the childish behaviour..and drama..the one who made fuss..but made sure nothing went wrong because if her..the one who could hold anyone In a trance ..the one who gave me a friend in herself.. the one due to whom..maybe I've starting caring a little more...helping a little more..even loving a little more..
My Mayrah..

A/N
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Unedited..