365 Cups of Coffee

Thirteen: Frozen Mocha with a Shot of Espresso

    When Daniel comes back, he invites me to come with him to drop Mike off at the airport the next day.  He says it was Mike’s last trip before he started college again, and now he’s going back.  Daniel’s mom put him in charge of taking Mike to the airport.  Apparently she hates seeing people leave, especially for such an extended period of time, and is glad Daniel can bring him to the airport.  I accept immediately.

    Daniel picks me up at eight in the morning; the flight is at ten, and we have to get there early, of course.  When he steps out of his car, I wrap him up into a huge hug.  The last time we saw each other was when he dropped me off at home after hiking.  He briefly said hi to my parents, and then I brought him up to my writing room for a few minutes before he had to leave to get home.  We kissed again though, up on the window seat, as we stared up at the stars.  The Daniel left me in a daze, wishing he didn’t have to leave.

    Now, we don’t kiss, but the hug is so intense, I can feel my insides light up.  I then slip into the back seat with the bags, since Mike is sitting up front.  The half hour drive to the airport is almost completely silent.  We park the car in one of the lots, since Daniel and I decide we want to get coffee at the Dunkin Donuts inside the terminal, and walk into the terminal with Mike.  Mike immediately goes to print his boarding passes and check his bags, but before he gets into the security line, he says goodbye to Daniel.

    “Tell Mom I love her,” he says.  “It’s been a great summer.  Now go have fun with Aspen.”

    He winks, gives Daniel a quick hug, and then gets into the security line.

    “When I was little, whenever my dad went away on a business trip, we used to watch the planes take away from the parking lot,” I say.  “For the first seven or eight years of my life.  Sometimes, I used to watch and wait for my mom to point out the airplane he was on.  Sometimes she could tell me which was his, but other times they all looked similar to her.  Other times, I bounced around in the car, just waiting to leave the airport and do something fun.  But I still remember it fondly, you know?”

    Daniel nods and grins.  “Wanna go to the observation deck and see Mike take off?”

    I laugh, but I nod.  Daniel leads me to the stairs, and we climb up to the deck.  It’s a little room, cylindrical in shape, with windows encircling it.  The runways are in clear view; I watch as a plane takes off, wondering where it’s going.  Suddenly, I find myself wishing I was on a plane somewhere else with Daniel.  I can’t help but thinking it would be fun, but at the same time, I shake my head, wondering why I would even think it would be a good idea. 

    “Does Mike like college?” I ask, staring out just as a plane swoops down for a landing.

    “He loves it,” Daniel says.  “He makes it sound so great, I wish I was there now.  And yeah, sure, sometimes he does complain about the workload, but he says it’s worth it.”

    “Where does he do to school?” I ask.

    “University of Chicago,” he says.  “Which might sound crazy because I know he doesn’t sound like the brightest bulb of the bunch, but he does really well in school.  I really wish I could be even half as smart as him.”

    “I bet you are,” I say, smiling, but Daniel shakes his head. 

    “I try.  I get all A’s and B’s.  But for Mike, getting all A’s in all AP and honors was almost effortless.”

    I don’t tell Daniel that getting all A’s myself was nearly effortless.

    “A’s and B’s are good,” I say.

    “But I’m not in AP.  Just all honors.  I strive to be like Mike, but I know I can never measure up.  So I want to go a different route.  I want to go for theatre, or music, or something that I can’t be compared to Mike in.”

    The way he says it, he sounds defeated.  Like he really thinks he’s stupid. 

    “You really aren’t stupid,” I whisper with conviction, but Daniel just shakes his head.

    “So are you excited for school?” he asks, changing the subject.

    School.  My mind freezes as I realize how close we are to going back to school.  Suddenly, I feel faint.  In a desperate attempt to latch back onto reality, I try to focus on the pores on Daniel’s skin, the smallest detail I can reach at the moment.  I hang on to it, then reach out for his hand as I feel myself grow dizzy.  His voice sounds far away, desperate.  I concentrate hard on my breathing, trying to calm myself down, but I feel physically sick, like I might throw up.  And I know.  I know this is the right time.

    “What’s wrong?” he asks.

    I have to tell him.