golden boy ✩ mashton ☑️

Chapter 19: Old Scars/Future Hearts

                  

[a/n o shit waddup the important stuff isn't in bold k. look at my baby he's so perfect i'm deceased and FUCK i see 5sos in a MONTH. if any of ya'll are gonna be at the Sydney show on October 5th come and say hey!! follow my trash instagram for details ; rainbowdjh . so there's gonna be 1 more chapter after this, plus epilogue and then ITS OVER. oh and also, trigger warning. ]

Shortly after Calum's soccer game, Michael decided to ask Ashton to stay the night at his place since Ashton's mother was working late. And also because Michael still didn't really want Ashton being by himself. He knew Ashton hadn't hurt himself in a few months, however he couldn't shake the feeling of being paranoid. It was understandable considering how much he cared for the boy. Ashton agreed, not really wanting to be alone tonight since his mood went downhill during the game.

It happened pretty much all the time, so he was used to it by now. It had been going on like this for years, he didn't even know what true happiness felt like. He only really felt some sort of happiness when Michael, Luke or Calum was around. The two boys drove home in Ashton's car and when they finally arrived, the curly-haired boy parked the car in the driveway and they both made their way up the porch and into the house. It was quiet, Michael guessing that his parents were out or something. They walked into Michael's bedroom and he checked the time, seeing that it was almost 8PM.

"Did you wanna take a shower?" Michael asked him and Ashton shook his head, not wanting to be left alone with his thoughts. Normally he'd love to have a shower where he could be alone. And then a thought occurred.

"Uh, actually yes." Ashton changed his mind.

"Alright, I'll get you some clothes." Michael quickly searched through his closet, eventually pulling out a pair of sweats and a Blink 182 band shirt for him to sleep in. Ashton took the clothes and made his way into the bathroom across the hall, locking it behind him. He immediately placed the clothes on the toilet seat and turned on the shower, making it seem like he was actually taking a shower.

Ashton opened up the cabinet above the sink and started searching, his eyes widening when he saw what he was looking for. A razor. He started to shake in anticipation as he grabbed out the razor and started banging it on the sink in hopes to break the head off. He kept hitting it until he finally broke off the head and then began trying to pull the blades out, not even caring about cutting his fingers in the process.

He let out a few whimpers, feeling the blades cutting his fingers but he didn't care and kept trying to get the blade. Suddenly, the loud banging on the door made him freeze in his place.

"Ashton? I know what you're doing and it's not worth it." He heard Michael say. He knew. How did he know? Ashton started breathing heavily as he dropped the razor head to the floor and looked down at his fingers. The flesh was torn up pretty badly and there was blood on his hands.

"Open the door, please just open the door now." Michael pleaded, his voice cracking. Ashton walked over to the door and unlocked it and immediately Michael walked in. Ashton's lips trembled and he fell to the floor, bursting into a fit of sobs. The coloured-haired boy knelt down and just held Ashton in his arms, kissing his cheeks over and over.

"It's okay, it'll all be okay baby..."

_

After Michael helped Ashton clean up, he put small band aids on Ashton's fingers and they were now lying in bed, although Ashton wasn't tired at all. In fact, he had other things he wanted to do instead of sleep. He sighed, rolling over and wriggling closer so that his chest was pressed against Michael's back. Ashton sat up and began kissing Michael's neck and almost straight away he felt him tense up.