Solitude Grace

Chapter Nineteen

Walking into the house, Harper wished he had gone back to get his jacket from Lisa, his skin felt like ice and he was sure his arms must have gone blue from frostbite. It was true about Idaho weather, it was cold and as the season had just turned to winter it was safe to say it would only get colder. 

Harper could smell the food as soon as he walked into the house, relishing the warm smell of it and the homey atmosphere he had gotten so used to. He rounded the corner and caught Gladis by surprise, making her jump before she righted herself.

"So you're finally home? I haven't seen you since last night." Gladis commented, keeping her eyes on the pot that seemed to contain some kind of stew. "A certain Miss Barker I'm gonna presume?"

Harper nodded. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you, you never sleep well and you deserved the rest."

"It's okay, kid. I know all about young love." She smirked.

Harper nearly choked on his own breath at the mention of the word love, looking at Gladis with a stunned expression. He most certainly did not love Lisa, yes he would admit to caring for her but love did not even come close. There was and always will be only eight people he loved and they will forever remain unnamed.

"I don't love Lisa." He finally answered.

Gladis looked at her and saw his flattened look. So love was a dead end conversation for him. Gladis just nodded and continued her stirring, knowing all too well that if she didn't take the beef stew off the stove now it would burn. 

"Hand me a pot stand in the drawer will you, boy?" She looked to him, his face somehow had darkened.

Harper did as he was told, placing the pot stand in the middle of the small dining table and taking his usual seat while Gladis placed the rice and the stew on the table. He waited until she had finished dishing her own plate before he dished for himself.

They ate in perfect silence for a while, Marbles out of the picture as usual and Gladis remaining adamant on bringing up the subject of love later on in the night. Harper couldn't shake the feeling he felt inside, the feeling of distancing himself from Lisa again. It would be easier to do that than to have her fall in love with him when he certainly couldn't love her back.

But he remembered what happened last time and he couldn't have her go through that again, he had promised. He could certainly pretend to love her, it would not be hard with the amount that he cared for her. 

But then there was the harder option. Growing to actually love the girl for who she is. He most certainly didn't want to admit how tempting the option was, to have her as his own. 

Harper had always stuck to the harder tasks, always fought the hardest in battle, always thought of himself as brave beyond belief. He was not used to taking the easy way, so for him to do so now would be undermining his natural instincts, something that felt wrong and made him feel sick.

The thought alone of distancing himself from Lisa causing his heart to clench, he knew he couldn't go a few days without seeing her, if not to assure her wellbeing then to just be around her for her company.

"You know, Lisa is a lovely girl." Gladis looked up, watching for Harper's reaction.

Harper looked to her, catching no trace of emotion on her face. "She is."

"Boy, I'm not saying you should force yourself to love her, but look at you, already bending forwards and backwards to give her what she wants. It's not hard to see that you're already on your way to loving her." 

Harper's eyes widened at that concept. Could he truly be falling in love with a human? It didn't seem possible to even comprehend. But it was true, if Lisa asked him for anything, he would do anything to get that for her. He couldn't stand seeing her unhappy and when he did, he would do anything to make her smile again.

"You don't have to say anything now, just think about it." Gladis got up from her seat and started washing up her dishes.

"How did you know when loved your husband?" Harper asked, noticing how tense his voice sounded.

"When I couldn't go a day without seeing him either." She smiled, a knowing look in her eyes.