Curiously Content (BoyxBoy, Werewolf) ON HOLD

Part four: I'm seeing things

4. 

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense. 
Mark Overby

*

I don't know whether it was his immediate reaction that shocked me more, or what he said to me after.  

As soon as those three words came out my mouth- those very same words I thought I would never tell a soul- Ryan took hold of my body and pulled me into a tight hug.  

'I'm so, so sorry Frankie' he sniffed. He was crying; he was crying for me. This adorable, kind hearted seventeen year old boy was crying for me and it was the first time in my life I had ever felt so relieved.  

'Don't be sorry, it's not like it's your fault' I said to him as a pulled away, I chuckled trying to lighten the mood, but it came out as a strangled cry; only making the mood worse. 

'I gave you that drink' He said, his voice full of concern and anger. He was no longer looking at me, but staring intently at the empty can I had discarded at the far end of my room. 

'Please' I laughed, full heartedly and happy 'I took it off you'. Even though Ryan was upset, I couldn't help but feel giddy. Two people today have given me the same look, a look of concern and love; there was nothing but care that shone in his eyes, not a trace of pity or hatred and it made me feel great. 

Ryan looked down at his feet and clenched his fist 'How can you be happy right now?' his voice was loud, but careful. He jumped to his feet and looked me dead in the eye. My happiness vanished as I saw nothing but anger; the concern that once etched his face had quickly disappeared. 'Why?' He screamed, he no longer kept his tone careful and quiet, it seemed as though all his calm had completely gone.  

'Ryan?' I said, trying to keep my voice steady so he wouldn't get any angrier. 'I was happy because you cared, I thought, I mean. Do you?' It was easy to pretend you cared, but when it comes down to it, was he ready to realise I needed a friend to get over my problems? 

He was still staring at me, his eyes still drenched with anger, it was very quickly seeping into his body; he started to shake, he was physically shaking and I it worried me. He muttered something. 

I looked at him back; pressing him to tell me what he said again.  

'I'm sorry' and with that, he wrapped his big, strong hands around my face and pulled me to him. His soft lips pushed up forcibly against my own and I was far too shocked to respond, but just as the thought of responding popped into my head, my natural instincts began to kick in. I pushed him away before I would let myself kiss him back; for one: he was angry and people do stupid, regrettable things when they're angry and lastly he was a man- nearly, and although I know that I'm gay, nobody else does and I defiantly am not going to ruin my front until I am ready to "come out" officially.  

'Oh my god' Ryan chanted as he got up from the floor; when I had pushed him away I had accidently pushed him a little too hard and he fell off my bed. He looked at me, eyes full of regret and he ran out the room.  

That's why I pushed him away. I can let myself fancy him, but he doesn't need to know; when I saw his eyes full of regret I understood immediately that he only kissed me because of his emotions going overboard and that if I had responded and kissed him back, he would probably have been revolted by me and my secret would be out.  

I sighed and walked to the window, sitting down on the edge of my bed so I could look out into the dark evening sky.  

It was a warm summer night and the stars were gleaming in the dark sky. Not a cloud in sight- the perfect picture. Back at the home I was born in, it wasn't normally so beautiful at night; there was too much light pollution.

I'd like to think the reason behind the amazing views, was because of the secret I had just told Ryan; I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, and maybe that was related to the beautiful scenery and the skies were telling me everything was going to be okay- much like the pathetic fallacy shown in some books, but that was exactly what it was, pathetic. Though I came to the conclusion that it was just because we were in the middle of nowhere and there was no light pollution here.

As much as I could wish that my idea was the case, I have to admit I don't believe in things like that; I don't believe in happy endings.

I'm pretty sure that you have realized by now that I'm not a happy person and I have some serious problems, and as much as I will tell you that this is a true story- one which will take into account heart break and tragedy, I want to be wrong. I want to be able to say, at the end of my story, that I'll have that happy ever after I'm yearning for, that my whole negative opinion on life was wrong.

Considering my life so far, I think that that's a pretty far off guess as to what my life will end up being, but, a guy can hope, right?

I heard a sudden noise outside, blocking me from my thoughts and when I looked down I saw the most beautiful, yet fierce animal I could have ever imagined.

It had its back to me, though I could see the black fur on its back; it was short, but beautifully shiny; I could see the fur blowing in the wind and the stars shimmering and reflecting off its dark coat making itself look like the sky above.

The animal turned its head up to my window, as if expecting me to be there and made the most heart wrenching sound in the world; it howled, lasting so long and filled with such a heartbreaking cry that it made my back shiver with emotion. The noise had stopped, but the emotion in his still staring eyes had me standing up and going closer to the window. Its eyes so dark, I could almost see myself in them if it wasn't for me being so far away.  

I sighed happily as I took this beautiful creature in, its ears shot up and it looked away, bouncing steadily into the woods below me.  

I sat there a while, thinking about what the amazing creature was, it looked like a fox- but it was too big; as it sat down it was at least as tall as I am standing up. It took me a second to remember, though I finally did. The family I'm living with are werewolves. That wasn't an animal. It was Ryan.

*

Thanks for reading, I wanted to add the werewolves into this part, because it didnt actually seem like a werewolf story.

Please, comment, feedback, vote and fan. Thanks again :)