Behind the scenes

Broken

Louis POV-
"Louis, I am abused by my boyfriend" Maya tells me
"Maya! Oh my god, have you told anyone?" I ask
"No, and you can't either. please don't! I'm begging you! I have it under control" she says
"Okay Maya, I believe you" I say hugging her
She turned around and was grabbed by a guy in black sweatshirt
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL TALKING TO HIM, BITCH?" Zach screams
"He's in my movie! We have to go out for a cast lunch" Maya says
He punches her in the jaw as she falls over.
I tried to help but I was frozen. I had no feeling of any of my body.
"STOP!" I yell, trying to run at him but wasn't going anywhere
He continued to punch and kick her as I sobbed out because I couldn't do anything to help.
He pulled out a gun and shot her 3 times.
"MAYAA!" I scream at the top of my lungs.
In that split second I could finally feel my body again and I was able to run toward her, but it was too late.
I grabbed onto her, sobbing. I took off my shirt and wrapped it around her wounds.
"MAYA NO"
----
"Louis?" I was shaken awake by a familiar voice
I sat up quickly.
"Louis? Are you okay?" He asks me softly
I look him in the eye, it was Harry. I looked around me, and we were still outside in Zach's front yard. I squinted my eyes and shielding them from the beating sun on me. Then It hit me like a bullet when I remembered what happened. My nightmare was a reality. Maya was dead.
"No" I say as tears fall down my face
"what happened? Harry asks
I explained to him the dream I had.
"shh, it's just the guilt." He says
"How?" I cry
"The way you couldn't move your body and how you had to watch her get beat up and killed was because you kept the secret to yourself and did and said nothing until it was too late, which is why you could finally move once she was gone.." Harry explains and I could feel my heart break.
"When is it gonna go away?" I ask
"Probably never, but it will get much better. I promise. You will move on, and be okay" he tells me
"We should probably get out of here, Niall and Liam are probably worried sick"  He helps me up and we get in the car.
The second we got home I went straight for my room and climbed in bed.
I didn't wanna do anything or go anywhere.
All I could think about was wanting to be in Maya's spot and trade places with her.
These thoughts wee consuming my mind.
I dont know if it was normal or if I needed help but I didn't know how to tell someone or ask.
I just laid in my bed and cried. Maybe if I continued to be like this they would eventually know something isn't right.
Liam walked in.
"Hey Louis..?" He says softly cracking the door open.
"please leave me alone.." My voice cracks
He walks in and closes the door behind him.
"oh louis..I heard what happened and I am so sorry.." he says sitting on my bed
"Liam please go." I beg softly
"No, I'm not leaving you alone right now." He tells me
I turn around and face the opposite direction

"Look I know you don't want to talk about anything right now, but I am worried about you. I don't know what you're feeling right now or what's going through your head, but I can't imagine it's anything good nor positive. So can you please give me something, how are you feeling?" he asks
I didn't know exactly how to answer him.
I obviously knew I was hurting, but I was feeling so many more emotions that hurt. It was the guilt, sadness, anger, confusion, stress, and I was sick to my stomach.
but how was I supposed to put that all in one word?
"Broken." I manage to get out
"It's gonna get better..I promise" Liam explains
"So I've been told..just still waiting for when I'll get that happy place of 'better' everyone seems to be talking about" I say
"you believe it'll get better though, right?" He asks
I looked at him and didn't respond.
"You do still have hope, right Louis?" He asks again quickly and nervously.
Of course I didn't. I mean, I knew eventually it would fade away, but I would always have to live the guilt of basically killing someone and I just don't think I could do it.
but Liam was scared. He knew I was obviously depressed, and he was looking for signs. But don't worry I was gonna give Liam some hope.
"Of course Liam, I have hope, always" I lie
"Good" he smiles and hugs me tightly