GOLD & FLOWERS // tronnor

"i need you so badly"

[the first few parts is mostly angst but then theres smut 4 yall sinners have fun ;; lowkey daddy kink]

Troye didn't understand.

He didn't understand when Connor quickly muttered, "Get in the car" when he finished making his, like, fiftieth hickey on his neck. He didn't understand when his hand found his left thigh during the whole ride, rubbing it against his hand, each time getting closer and closer to his crotch. He didn't understand when they were finally home and when he pinned him against the wall.

He was basically a mess under Connor, moaning whorishly as he began grinding down on him that just made him feel teased and tortured, yet confused on Connor's sudden horniness.

When he was halfway in the process of removing Troye's shirt, Troye snapped back from his train of thought and placed his hands on his chest, pushing him just slightly off of him.

But before he could say anything at all, Connor looks at him in disbelief and beats him from saying anything at all. "What? What the fuck?" Connor says more angrily than Troye expected. "You don't want me, do you? You don't love me, no one fucking loves me!"

He was practically yelling at him when he hasn't said anything at all but he looked like a wreck. His top three buttons of his wrinkled shirt unbottoned, hair all over the place, and a bit of red eye.

"Connor, what are you-"

"No, don't touch me!" He flinches, backing away slowly from Troye who had reached out for him and the wall he had just pinned him to. "I'm hideous! You hate me, I hate me, my body is fucking disgusting!"

Troye's heart shatters at his words as Connor crumbles down on the side of the couch, placing his arms around his knees that he pulled to his chest. He kept his head down, ashamed of himself for everything's he done in his life.

He silently makes his way towards him and crouches down in front of him, hesitantley placing a hand on his shoulder. Connor flinches but doesn't seem to move it away. So experimentally Troye places his hand on the back of his head, rubbing it soothingly.

"I don't hate you," he whispers. "I love you so fucking much...you're...you're beautiful, Con."

"You're lying," Connor sniffs, slowly raising his head up to reveal the worst look Troye had ever seen on him. Out of all the times he had cried infront of him, this was so far the absolute worst. "Everyone lies. They just compliment me out of courtesy, I-I shouldn't even be here, I-I sh-should be dead."

"Baby, don't say that," Troye sighs beside him, placing his hands on the sides of his damp cheeks. "You're here, you're alive, and I am so grateful for that. I don't know what I'd do without you...come on please Connor look at me."

Connor slowly does, giving him a face that looked like an innocent boy lost in a large city with strange people and unknown areas. Troye smiles softly. He's found that lost boy.

"I love you," he repeats. "And if you ever doubt that for one second, I...I don't know I can live without you knowing that." 

Connor's eyes glossed with tears and he blinks to let a few out. He was still silent, and Troye leans in to kiss him again. It was soft, nothing too aggressive, that he was kissed back, but with much more force. He felt his hands back onto his neck, like he never wanted to let him go. And that was what Troye was thinking as well.