Just Some Words

39|| Before You Love Me

"Before you love me...

  Know that I'm insecure. If you talk about an ex, I'll stare at the screen wondering how to respond without sounding scared or jealous. I'll get nervous showing you my body because I've never had a reason to be confident in it, and if you stare too long you just might see all the flaws I see.

I swear that I'll say sorry like it's my name because I'm so used to feeling like an inconvenience.

  Know that my mind is a battlefield. Within it I struggle between being too logical and too emotional. I'm not always happy and some days I might seem off, but I'm trying my hardest for you. It's just sometimes the darkness creeps back up and I get lost in my head.

  Be patient with me. I'm scared to make the first move. I don't say no often but yes won't come out of my mouth either. Be able to read when I'm uncomfortable because I've gotten very pressured into situations so don't expect "I love you" to come out right away either.

  Lastly, and above all, know that I don't fall this hard very much, so please don't take any of it lightly. I've been hurt too often, don't break my heart and leave me questioning why."