SNIPPETS

I Remember

IMPORTANT INFO IN A/N

Authors Note: This is something I wrote for my English class. It's a dramatic monologue that I wrote for the movie Woman in Black. If you've ever watched it then you may understand but just in case here's some info need to know.
Woman in Black is a movie with a bunch of supernatural themes and death. Basically Daniel Radcliffe plays the role of Arthur Kipps, a lawyer of sorts that is brought to Eel Marsh for work. Some Alice chick dies and its Arthur's job to idk sell the house or something? Go through paper work and all that boring junk.
Soooo there's been a few deaths of children in the area, thanks to a delightful ghost person who everyone refers to as The Woman in Black. Blah blah she kills some children and the villagers blame it on Arthur blah blah.
So info you need to know is that in the beginning Arthur's wife, and mother of their child Joseph, dies.

I decided that as part of my assignment I'll rewrite her death, making it a suicide. Its a dramatic monologue from the wife herself, on some weird supernatural plane. Anyway, somewhat emotional and apologies if this piece is a trigger. Enjoy! :)

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I remember it like it was yesterday...

It was September 19th, and I had just finished putting little Joseph to sleep. He was such a sweetheart that day. I remember it took only a few minutes of rocking to silence his cries and a further two minutes to get him resting. I remember walking down our corridor...
There was so many photos of baby Joseph, Arthur and myself displayed throughout the hallway.

I even remember how silent it was before I opened the kitchen draws. You could hear a pin drop, it was that silent... Well, until I grabbed the knife. My ears filled with this loud clatter of metal on metal as I shuffled through the draws to find my sharpest cooking knife...

I remember it all... The blood... The numbness that washed over my body... The feeling of life draining out of me slowly... Everything.
Every single day since, images and memories that I wanted to lose forever seeped into my mind and came as a reminder of what I did, who i lost and the never ending emptiness I have felt since. You have to understand, I tried. I tried so hard to be strong.
It just felt like my life was spiraling out of control and I tried desperately to grab something, anything, but there was nothing around to keep me anchored down... Nothing to grip onto if my life began to spin out of control... And spin it did...

They came back... The voices. I was preparing lunch when it happened. It was like there was suddenly a million and one voices in my head screaming at me to end my life and get it over with. It was not my first encounter with them, but it most definitely was my last...
They continued to get louder and louder, until I was on the ground, with my hands over my ears, attempting to block them out. But you can't silence something that's in your head!
They called me weak... Said i had no control... The shouting in my head intensified until finally... I just gave up...

I remember crawling to the kitchen bench and wrapping my fingers tightly around the hilt of my kitchen knife, as I screamed at the top of my lungs, "Shut up!"

I remember this number feeling spread throughout my body. I felt... Nothing really. I mean, I could feel the cold air whip my flesh, causing goosebumps to arise on my skin. I could feel the harsh bite of the cold tiles on my bare feet. I could even feel eyes boring into the back of my head. The framed photos of a younger me pleading, with their eyes, for me to gain control... But it was too late.
One thing i couldn't feel was emotion, it was as if my body was drained of anything and everything that makes me human.

The next thing I knew i was in the bathroom, staring into my own dull brown eyes contemplating the very end of my life...

I remember bringing the blade to my wrist... I just wanted go get rid of them. Wanted to shut them up for good this time...

I remember the sharp pain that coursed up my arm when i violently slashed at my pale skin, and i even remember the voices telling me, "Go down the road, don't cross the street."
I remember stumbling back, allowing the knife to slip out of my hand and fall to the bathroom floor.
I continued to step away from the mirror, disgusted at the ugly creature that stared back at me, until my back slammed against the wall.
My knees buckled underneath me, and my lower back came into contact with the hard tiled floor, followed by another sharp pain in my tailbone.

I remember gazing at the large puddle of blood that had formed beside the mirror and gasped... There was so much blood... I felt wet tears streak down my face and I whispered to myself, "Will this make you shut up?"
No reply came... I remember my body started to become sluggish. I remember how heavy my eye lids felt and how difficult it was to keep them open. I could feel my heart beating slower and slower as each minute passed. Seconds felt like forever then...
I remember thinking, this was it. I knew it.

The last thing I remember was lying on the ground as the life drained out of my body as fast as the blood did... I remember thinking to myself... I knew this would happen.

I knew what would happen if I put that blade to my wrist. I knew what would happen if I allowed the voices to get the better of me. I even knew the consequences to my actions.

What I didnt know was that Arthur would be the one to find my lifeless body.