I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong, pretend like everything's all right, act like it's all perfect, even though inside it really hurts. I tell myself this everyday of my life. I used to say "I'm not depressed, I'm realistic" But now I say that I'm not strong anymore, I'm just broken inside, I'm depressed all the time, I fake a smile, I hide my problems form others to avoid them getting stressed, I cover my scars, I don't talk to anyone so they won't have to put up with me, and I prentend to be mentally stable. When I am alone for too long, my mind starts to wonder and my heart gets into trouble. I promised myself I was never going to fall in love with no one ever again I'll rather die then get my heartbroken again I still remember what he told me.
Flashback~
"What do you mean? You don't love me no more? James Answer me!!" I was hysterical, screaming I began to banging him in the chest it was worthless though he was bigger than me surprisingly because I'm fucking fat maybe that is why he wants to leave me. No wonder he ignores me all the time. "You don't wanna be with me no more because I'm a fa..."
He interrupted me "YES BECAUSE YOUR A FAT ASS!! there the truth comes out I don't like you because you are ugly and fat!" he was yelling this to me oh did I mention we were in the middle of the hall and everyone was staring at us. I never felt this humiliated before well maybe there was something more humiliating in the past but the past is the past. "Now get out of my sight before I puke, oh by the way I was just going out with you because someone bet me that couldn't get you in my bed in less than a month I just wanted to prove them wrong!"
H...he....used...m..e no tears don't come out I wasn't going to cry not in front of them oh no I am not I'm Diana Rose and I won't cry because I know I'm better than any of them. "You Know wha.." he interrupted me again.
''Plus I was Banging Jessica your ex best friend while we were "going out" now you get it I never loved you you worthless piece of shit!'' ouch that one hurt, yes you heard right Jessica was my best friend before she changed a whole lot. Okay tear, tears don't come out please stay strong Diana.
''You know what James Fuck You I actually thought you loved me but I guess not, so forget you and go FUCK your fucking little piece of shit called Jessica. Oh by the way i heard she talks about how horrible you are in bed to all the cheerleaders! Bye Kisses Mu-ah!" I just walked away, but then I went back and smacked the hell out of him all you see is his face turning and my hand printed in his face. After that I left but i couldn't help but wonder where were all the teacher we were like literally screaming our lungs out.
End of Flashback~
I acted like it wasn't a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me? All I think about is hurting myself and how terrible myself image is. what have I become? Oh yeah I'm a living monster.
Don't you wish you could go back to when everything was simple? I do, that is my biggest wish when my grandma and my brother were still alive, when my parents weren't rich, and when I loved myself. Well let me tell you a little more about my family, my parents became rich when my older brother died he was in the army and he died trying to save one of his best friends, well back to what I was saying he had a lot of money he gave it all to my parents and some to me but I'm not able to get it until I'm 18 one more year yay. My parents each bought a company and became even more richer than what they were I haven't seen them in a while they travel a lot and that is another cause of my depression. It's hard to grow up in a world where you never feel like you're pretty enough.
Ever since what James said I became a lot more insecure of myself I feel like no one would want a fat ass bitch like me. I just really wish I meet the right guy one day, i have a filling that I will but not right now....
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Well This Is the First Chapter hope you guys like it [whoever reads this]
I got Inspired lol Sorry for the cuzz words
Well Thanks For Reading hope it is long enough..
XOXO Gossip Girl lol sorry Bye
YOU ARE READING
Happy, But Broken.
Roman d'amour▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□▪□ Diana Rose is just another insecure girl in this big world. She will find love but she will have to fight against her insecurity to be with him. They will both have to go through tough times to be together. But in the...
