Adopted By the Yogscast: A Parody

Chapter 5 - The Office

Walking through the corridors, it looked like any other cramped office building. Claustrophobically white walls and harsh white light gave the place a very... Office-like atmosphere, if it weren't for the walls failing at their job to block noise, allowing screams of salt and peals of laughter to echo from several rooms.

Yogtowers was any and every Yognau(gh)ts dream. Lewis swept me down the corridors, past piles of junk on the floor and many posters. Not stopping to allow me to appreciate the "F*CK YOUS!" echoing from a certain door, I was led into an empty room. It was decently big, with a shelf in the corner, a window in the side and a table with a PC against the wall, similar to almost every other room in the office. 

"This is your new room!" Lewis exclaimed loudly, as if I were a deaf elephant who was unable to put two and two together. Simon had disappeared somewhere a while ago, so it was just Lewis and I, together in slightly cramped room. "Feel free to use it however you like!"

Wow, so this was my space now? Awesome. "Make yourself at home!" Lewis winked, and slipped out of the door, quietly shutting it in a slightly suspicious way.

Forgetting Lewis, I threw myself into the cushy chair which was slightly too big for me. Spinning around in a circle, I received a full 360 degree view of the room. The first thing I noticed was a computer with a large screen with some technological jizzle-jazzle-wires-and-stuff extending from it. It looked really expensive, and I decided against touching it, in the fear that it would cause the computer to short-circuit and cause a blackout, while spontaneously combusting. Or something.

The were holes in the white paint covering the walls, indicating that someone had pulled some posters off the walls, and the blue tack sticking it together had peeled the paint off. The plywood shelf was slightly dusty, and between the wall and the back of the shelf lay a lone styrofoam bullet. The window had some kind of dusty metal grill covering it so that nobody to climb out of it in a attempt to commit suicide, letting in a very small amount of watery sunlight. Honestly though, who would be stupid enough to attempt committing suicide out of a two story window? That was probably a pretty dumb idea, especially when one considers the fact that the windows were covered with a heavy metal grill. Unless you were. of course, a ghost, but a ghost can't really kill itself, can it?

***

Poking my head out of the room, I had no idea where to go. I had waited about half an hour for Lewis to come back and bring me to my next (or final) destination, but he did not. I had no idea where to go, and whether I could touch anything. But adopting the "screw it" attitude, I left the room to look for someone.

The lights were completely switched off, drowning the long corridor in a swathe of darkness, with only the very end lit up by a half-open door, white light peeking out of the gap like a curious kitten. 

It was now or never, to leave the comforting brightness of my room into the dark to journey to the next. It was slightly creepy, for there was no human life visible, an all-dominating shadow looming above as I hurried to the light source. Opening the door by a crack, I peeked in cautiously.

"SURPRIIIIISE!!" A bunch of grown up adults jumped up, shooting streamers and party poppers at me like eight year olds. "Welcome to the Yogscast!" What?! Everyone from the office was there. When I say "The Office" I mean Yogtowers, and not the inhabitants of Dunder Mifflin. Even Sparkles* and Area 11 were there. I was in awe, my mouth opened wide for flies to enter.

At that point, somebody threw a rubber spider at me. Raising my hands up to block it, I still could not comprehend the awesomeness of the situation. The entire office was there for me?! What. My feet felt like they were stuck to the ground, My mouth frozen in shock. Lewis laughed and gave me a pat on my back. "Anything for our newest member," he winked. 

***

Leaving me to do my own thing, Lewis left the room, and almost immediately, Sparkles* strolled in. "So, how's the newest member of the Yogscast doing?" He questioned which a bright smile. When I stared at his beautiful face on the screen, I always thought it was so cute. But up in real life... It was a truly magnificent work of art. He looked away self-consciously, blushing under the intense heat of my gaze. Realizing I was staring, I blinked and tried to act more sociable, giving a shrug. Pulling out a notebook from my pocket, I scribbled down a few words and shoved the book right into his glorious nose. "'I'm okay, I guess?'" He echoed. I pulled the book back and once more murdered the paper with the pressure of my writing. "'Dying of shock and excitement and stuff like just?'" He laughed. "Like just what?" I shrugged, trying to keep it cool while internally screaming "MEETING YOU OF COURSE."

...

I think I'm in love.

***

Chapter 5 - The Office
Written from 6/9/16 to 24/10/16