It's not worth it (Jack Maynard fan-fiction)

LONDON

I'm going back to London today Conor and Jaspar (Joe and Caspar)
Persuaded me.
I'm quite nervous haven't been to joes house in 8 months but he's always visiting me so that's good.
My phone starts buzzing. It's Anna. That's weird why would she be calling me.
I answer it.
"Hey" I say
"Hey I heard you was going back to London to visit the boys" Anna says
"Yeah but I'm not talking to Jack so don't expect me too Anna" I say to her and she laughs
"I'm not expecting you too, he's got a girlfriend who every one hates she's such a bitch she called me a whore but when I told Jack he didn't believe me then I told Josh and he took me out and bought me loads of Mac makeup" Anna says
"She called you a whore, what a bitch" I raise my voice
"Does Conor know" I question
"Nope but you can tell him I'm not telling him" she laughs slightly
"Okay hun I have to go now coz Zoe is beeping her car horn she's driving me to London coz she's going to see Joe and film" I say
"Okay then" she says
"I'll text you when I'm in the car on the way to London coz I'll be bored ahh" I start laughing and I grab my bag and house keys then walk out the door closing it and locking it
"Okay I'll text you when your in the car see you later babes love you" I say getting in the car "love you" she says back I end the call and say hi to Zoe and we hug.
"That's get going" Zoe smiles "yeah do you want macdonalds on the way and Starbucks?" I question "erm yeah sure" Zoe smiles.

London
"Lexa can you ring Joe and say we are nearly at his apartment" Zoe smiles at me "yeah sure" I smile back
I call Joe and he picks up almost instantly.
"Hey" he says
"Hi we are nearly at your flat" I say
"Okay I've just got in my self I went to asda and bought some food and alcohol are you staying in London for a bit" Joe says
"Yeah you know we are" I laugh
"Yep for a bloody week" he laughs
"Yep" I laugh back
"You and Zoe can share a bed or you can have a separate bed" Joe says
"Wait I'll ask Zoe" I say
"Zoe shall we share a bed or shall we have separate bed" I say to Zoe "erm separate because you'll end up going out clubbing and shagging him when I'm in the room" Zoe laughs and Joe hears Zoe and laughs to and I let out a giggle
"Yep a separate bed" I laugh to Joe
"Okay ALL the boys are coming round even Anth is here he flew all the way from Miami yesterday morning at three am" Joe says
"I can't wait to see Anth I've missed him sooo much" I say
"He's missed you and he said start answering his messages" Joe laughed
"Yeah start answering them bitch" Anth shouted he always calls me bitch for a Joke so I know he's messing around "dudeeeee" I laugh and Joe and Anth giggle "well we are nearly there now so I'm gonna go bye" I say
"Bye lex" Joe and Anth say in unison.

We walk into joes apartment and I get rugby tackled by all the boys when they settle down and let go of me I notice Jack is sat on the sofa looking at me with tears in his eyes "you have changed so much I actually think you've got prettier" Anth laughs "thanks" I giggle and hug him "Caspar" I yell as he walks in "KITTEN" he yells back and runs at me and picks me up "I've missed you" Caspar says "it's only been like a week you donut" I laugh messing his hair up "the longest week of my life" Caspar laughs fixing his hair.

So we are having a kind of welcome home party type thing. Well we are just having a party and I'm talking to Marcus Butler when someone taps me on my shoulder "Lexa" he says I turn around and it's Conor "you dick I thought you was Jack" I smack him playfully and he pretends to be hurt and we laugh "do you want a drink" he says "yeah sure" I smile "I'm gonna head off anyway need to film a video" Marcus walks out the front door hugging every one and saying bye Conor hands me a drink and we go outside and sit at the table and we just catch up and mess around like always.
Then he goes silent.
"Erm I just wanted to say I'm sorry for ever hurting you" he says and puts his hand in mine "honestly Conor it doesn't matter I've forgiven you" I smirk "really" his eyes light up "yeah" i laugh "yesss" Conor says.
We just chat about Conor hitting three million subscribers that's night and how I hit 12 million subscribers.
"He misses you" Conor says
"Excuse me" I say I have no idea what he's on about I think he means Jack,
"He misses you, Jack missed you" he says again
"Oh" I say shocked "don't lie he's happy with his girlfriend whatever her name is" I shrug "so he loves you still" Conor says "if he did he wouldn't of screwed Lydia" I say "it's not like you didn't screw anyone while you was with Jack" he raises an eyebrow and smirks and I hit him "yeah but that was different we was totally smashed Lydia and Jack wasn't" I say "so have you moved on" he asks "yeah" I nod "have you got a boyfriend" Conor squeals and Jack is only like 2 yards away from us "no I haven't but I like someone" I say "who might that be" Conor asks "over these past seven months..." I begin "yeah" he nods his head waiting for me too finish "you have got really nosey" I laugh "hey that's mean" he pouts and I shake my head.
"So have you seen a boy you like in Brighton" Conor asks after everything me and Conor have been through he's interested and I'm enjoying talking to him, "well I do have a little crush" I laugh "spill the beans" he laughs "fuck no" I laugh "do we know him" he asks "oh yeah" I laugh he puts a frown on "is it Oli" he says with a serious face "no" I start laughing then he laughs too "I was only joking would you ever go for Oli" Conor says "erm no he's to much of a good friend to date" I say and he nods "would you ever date.... Me again" he asks and I gulp he's the one I like "I don't know if I could trust you again Conor" I shrug "look I'm really sorry for what I did I guess me and jack are just to similar you should move off us both we are bad news you deserve a guy who would never cheat on you and will treat you like a little princess" Conor smiles rubbing his thumb over my cheek "I can't move off you both though" I sigh "do you still have feelings" Conor asks I shrug and he sighs "I have feelings for you still i realised how much I messed up and that I'm a dick for hurting you" Conor says "we've all done some horrible things in the past its life that's how humans are" I shrug "I miss you I want you to be mine again and I'll never let you go" Conor says grabbing my hand and stroking his thumb on top of my hand "I miss you" I say looking into his beautiful blue eyes "ALEXA" Joe shouts "oh Joe wants me" I laugh taking my hand away from Conor "IM COMING JOE" I shout back I walk inside and bump into someone "sorry Lexa" he says I could recognise that voice from anywhere "Jack" I gulp "can we maybe talk" Jack asks and he sounds upset "I don't know" i say "please we need to talk you just walked out and left me without saying bye" Jack grabbed my hand. WTF is wrong with people touching my hand today.

As he place is hand on mine I felt sparks just like I did when he touched me when we was together.

"ALEXA" Joe yells again "I need to go" I sigh and walk away "please" Jack sighs and I can hear crying I feel so bad but it's his fault.
I'll always what Zoe and poppy said to me 'If you do forgive him, don't do it straight away. Keep him on his toes and he'll realise how much he's missed you and how much of a prick he was' that was probably the best advice I've ever had.

I walk into the living room to see Joe and some more people sat in a circle on the floor with loads of alcohol in the middle of the circle I laugh "what's this" I say pointing to the circle and the drinks "never have I ever" Oli questions "sure" I smile and sit near Joe and Caspar.
"Jack,Conor you playing" Josh shouts "yeah" they say in unison.

We all sit down and play never have I ever.
"Your turn Jack" Oli says "never have I ever fucked someone while watching a horror movie that scares the shit out of you" Jack says I drink so does Jack then Conor does so does Caspar,Joe and Josh.
"Your turn now Lexa" Josh smiles at me "never have I ever fingered some one? Obviously that isn't for me that's for all of you boys" I laugh looking at them Jack drinks so does Conor Joe and Caspar.
"Ewwww" Mikey says "what" Conor laughs "I don't know how you can I have to drink coz I have once and never again it's horrible and slimy" he gags "naaahhhh feels great if the boys are enjoying fingering a girl she's obviously enjoying it too" Conor says in a serious tone "I've actually licked and sniffed my fingers when I took them out" Jack laughs "same bro" Conor laughs and high fives Jack they are obviously talking about me coz they told me I'm the only one they have ever fingered,
"Who did you both finger" Oli laughs "we can't say" Jack shrugs "tell us" Josh begs "it's no one important" Jack shrugs my heart breaks down he's technically saying I'm not important Conor looks at me sympathetically and I just look away and I hear him sigh "come on you have to tell us" Caspar laughs "I'll tell you and I'm not ashamed of it we loved each other well I still love her" Conor says and I gulp and I think Caspar must of heard me gulp and he looks at me worriedly "was it you" he whispers into my ear and I nod "I'll tell him not to say anything" he whispers again "thanks" I smile at him "it was-" Conor began "actually I don't want to know keep it to yourself it can be your dirty little secret" Caspar laughs then winks at Conor. Conor laughs and looks at me and I smile he smiles back.
I start falling to sleep on Caspars body when we are all still sat on the floor "come on sleeping beauty bed" a female voice says softly shaking me "huh" I say sleepily "you can sleep in my room" Joe says "thanks" I smile I still have my eyes closed I felt someone rubbing my forehead I open my eyes Zoe is in front of me and Caspar is rubbing my head "I'm so tired" I giggle "I'll take you to joes room and you can sleep in there and I'll jump in bed with you too" Zoe smiles and I nod.

We walk to the bedroom and get undressed In front of each other and we take our makeup off and go to sleep.