A Walk On The Beach

Chapter 17

Girl

MUM, I SERIOUSLY don’t think it’s necessary,” I say.

Mum has finally succeeded in her mission to drag me out to the mall to buy a dress for the charity ball.

“Sweetie, I think it is,” she says in the don’t-mess-with-me tone. She’s finally dished it out. “The ball is in one week. We can’t afford to lose.”

I roll my eyes. “Mother,” I say sweetly. “Is this all about losing face?”

Mum looks at me. Obviously it’s true. She looks apologetic. “I’m sorry, Ally; but my sisters are turning this into a battle of the children. They have sparkling kids...”

“And you have one messed up one,” I sigh.

She frowns. “No. Are you all right, Ally? You don’t seem your usual self.”

I shake my head and plant a smile on my face. “I’m fine, Mum. I’m just confused by the wide range of ball gowns.”

She laughs. “I think, with your petite body sculpture...”

I let her analysis of my body sculpture wash over me. I start to daydream. My mind takes over me most of the time; I can’t help it. It wants something different to what I do.

I’m in pieces.

My mind...has a mind of its own.

My eyes don’t focus on anything.

My mouth deceives me.

My ears hear what they think I should hear.

And my heart – wants something I know that will never last.

It wants a boy.

A boy my mind doesn’t want to acknowledge; a boy I’ve only seen once; a boy I’ve only spoken to once; a boy I’ve only heard talk once; a boy who has the other half of my heart.

But this is silly. I’ve watched too many movies. Things in reality don’t happen like this. I’m just wanting. Things don’t happen like this.

“Ally?” I’m back in reality. “Turn for me so I can see.”

I turn as asked, the skirt of the shimmering gown swishing at my feet.

“No, I don’t think so...”

The afternoon carries on like this. But my mind doesn’t wonder anymore. I’ve had enough of that today. There’s only so much I can take. Instead, I let reality take over me... and I forget about letting my mind out.

I control it.

But I’m becoming weak. I need my walls to stay strong.

Nothing lasts.

Six days until the charity ball, and I am dreading it. It’s not like me to dread things. I’m always up for events, but this one...I’m scared.

“That dress is amazing!” Cameron says.

We’re in her room...which is the size of my living room back on the Island. She has a walk-in wardrobe, which I don’t see the point of. All her dresses are on racks in her actual bedroom. That wardrobe is for shoes.

My cousin is trying to eat her strawberry ice cream as quick as possible, so she can touch the dress. She doesn’t want to ruin it. I’ll be more than happy if she did, though her father would have bought me a new one anyway.

“I bet you look stunning in it!” she says, throwing the empty ice cream tub away. She stands up. “Ally, I think you should try it on for me! I want to see!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. That’s a beautiful dress, Cam, but it doesn’t look right on me,” I say doubtfully.

She rolls her eyes. “Everything suits you, Ally!” Then something flashes in her eyes. It’s like a light bulb literally just went off in her head. “You need shoes! And guess who just got the new pair of Christian Louboutin! And guess who I’m going to give them to!”

I laugh. “Cam, seriously, I don’t think I should accept a pair of shoes from you like that.”

She waves me off. “Ally, I love you, and you’re my favourite cousin, and I can give those shoes to anyone I like. Might as well accept them.” She disappears into her huge shoe closet and comes back with a glass case. “You have to take care of them.”

She smiles and I smile back. “Thanks, Cam.”

“Any time. We little people have to gain the extra height anyway.” She winks.

I laugh. “Thank you.”

The shoes stare at me through their glass case. I can’t sleep.

I creep out of my hotel room. To my right is the city. I sit on the ledge and watch as the number of cars passing never change.

Five days until the charity ball... I need to find a date.

I think I fall asleep.