For the love of Heaven (ON HOLD)

4|Confusion part 2

My wife aka "Heaven"

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I watched Kelly as she walked out of the mall. It took her about 15 minutes after I got to the car for  her to come.

"I found the perfect shoes to go with my dress! It's these pink suede pointy toed heels but I think they're only 4" though," she paused for a second to start the car up "And Omar said he'll even hold them for me for a week because they only two pair left in my size."

"Sounds great." I said dryly

"What's wrong Heaven?" She asked as she pulled out of the parking space.

"Nothing I'm just read to go home that's all."

"Ok."

On the ride home there was an awkward silence. I know Kelly was still kinda upset at me for not taking Omar offer, I don't blame her but I already made up my mind about homecoming and I don't want to go.

"I'm sorry." I said

"No I'm sorry, you said you didn't want to go and I should've respected that and not tried to force you," she said not taking her eyes off the road.

"Yeah."

"It's just that you're my bestfriend and I want you to enjoy life the way I do and I want the world to know how amazing you are but nobody will ever know that if you're always in the house moping around."

She was right. I'm always in the house and I really haven't been as enthusiastic to do anything since daddy died. I thought I would be okay but I think momma's spirit is starting to rub off on me.

"Thank you kels I really needed that." I smiled

"I know you did."

~*~
7:00 pm

I unlocked the front door and entered the dark house. After the mall me and Kelly went to get something to eat. While out to dinner somehow Kelly convinced me to go to the homecoming dance with her, I even agreed to go back with her to the mall to buy the dress next week.

I walked in the kitchen and turned on the light. I put my leftovers from the restaurant inside of the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water and walked upstairs. I kept the lights off so I wouldn't disturb my mother. Until I bumped into someone.

"Ah!" I yelled startled. I quickly searched for the hallway light switch and turned it on.

There was lucky standing in a white t shirt and black basketball shorts.

"Oh sorry." I said as I rushed to my room keeping my head down avoiding eye contact.

"Heaven!" He called after me but I kept walking until I reached my room, went inside and closed my door.

"Heaven." Lucky said as he knocked on my door.

"What do you want lucky?" I said the though the door.

"I need to talk to you."

I rolled my eyes "about what?"

He sighed "You know what.. I need to explain myself.. Can you give me a chance?"

I sighed and opened the door "come in," I mumbled.

I stepped out of the way of the door and sat on my bed. Lucky sat in the swivel chair at my desk.

"So.. Why did you kiss me?" I asked getting straight to the point because him being my room made me uncomfortable.

"To be honest, I don't know.. Well I can't explain it." He looked down at his feet.

I rolled my eyes out of frustration "Well say something so you can get out of my room!" I snapped. My intentions weren't to be rude but my anxiety was building up.

He got up "Man fuck this! I had a crush on your rude fat ass for since I met you but I just got over that shit. Yo ass gon' stay lonely acting like that!" He said as he got up and walk out of my room.

Out of all the stupid shit he's called me for the past 10+ years, this is the first time I really took it to heart but, I didn't try to stop him nor insult him back, even though his words did kinda hurt..

I just closed my room door and stripped out of the clothes I had on and put a t shirt over my naked body.

I laid and immediately started to relax, eventually I fell asleep...

~*~

I held his trembling hand as he slipped in and out of consciousness. I knew he only had a few more minutes before he would be completely gone. I was the only in the room, nobody else wanted to see daddy like this, but I promised him I wouldn't leave his side.

"I love you daddy."

"I-I l-lov-ve y-you too b-babygirl," he said barely over a whisper and somehow still able to keep a smile on his face.

His heart monitor begin to beep slower and slower. "Do you really have to go?" I asked as if he had a choice.

He was too weak to speak at this point, so he just nodded his head.

Tears uncontrollably streamed down my face "Please God.. Please don't take my daddy away.. Please.." I whispered.

"It's o-okay babygirl."

I heard the monitor beep one last time and his grip completely loosened on my hand.

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"No.."

"No! No! No!" I shook him a little "daddy no!" I begin to break down and cry "No! Daddy no!"

Two doctors walked in the room and lifted the sheet over my father face, unhooked him from the monitors and pushed his bed out the room.

"I'm sorry.." one of the doctors said to me on their way out.

I fell on the floor where the bed was "Why me God?! Why would you do this to me? I need my daddy!"

~*~

Saturday, 6:30am

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. Of course it wasn't supposed to go off on a Saturday but I forget to turn it off last night. I rolled and swiped the screen on my iPhone to turned it off.

I sighed and turned over, as much as I knew I wanted to go to sleep I knew I wouldn't be able to. Tears streamed down my face and I wiped them away as soon as they came out.

My dream felt like I was reliving that day all over again but the worst part about it is my dreams are the the only thing that allows me to sleep through the night.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

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I teared up a little writing this😢

Excuse any mistakes I changed it up last minute..

But yeah I know it's kinda boring and short but I didn't want to give too much away.

My official update days are Monday's and Friday's!

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