MERRY. FUCKING. CHRISTMAS. [Riren/Ereri AU]

Chapter Nine~: HE SEES YOU WHEN YOURE NAKED. HE KNOWS IF YOU GOT LAID~.

[A/N: I have writers block, and am kind of drowsy so forgive me XD Also Isayama is fucking with my head so I need some comfort. PLEASE. #FandomFeels Also watching the beginning of Sherlock since I haven't tried it yet. I know it's been a week forgive me agghh. Not feelin this chapter ladies and rentlegen, I'm still motivated to write but this is a fuckin filler XD. EXPECT REAL STUFF NEXT CHAPTER ITS A SUPER CHAPTER ALSO GO CHECK OUT evitaonline's book covers that she made for me they look awesome! I'll post my favorite on the super chapter, well they're all perfect. ALSO IF THERE ARE ANY TYPOS OR SHIT THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS.]
Warning: This chapter has no chill.
Wow.

A hitman?

Levi's eyes widened, not exactly sure if he was shocked or impressed.

"Okay that's fine with me, as long as there's no interest money, I mean goddamn have you seen the price to kill a simple house cat? Okay so I'm going to need you to snipe a man who goes by the name of Donald Trump he's a simple fellow to find really he kind of looks like Annoying Orange but flabbier if you ever saw his bare stoma―" Before he could finish he was cut off by Eren.

"....Here in the North Pole, the job of Santa's hitman is to make sure he has all the supplies to make the toys for each child." Eren said, a bit dumbfounded.

"Oh, that's fine too I guess..."

Mikasa adjusted her waist toasters, making sure they are still durable for the time being,

"So, this dude killed Mr. Claus?" She asked, using a dull tone like worn out charcoal. Eren nodded. "With a stone too," Eren said. Mikasa loosened her grip on the weapons that no one really paid attention to. She then pulled out a small tablet, showing a screen that displayed different locations of the work shop and it's progress, all labeled with different colors.

"The supplies are ready for the next section children's toys for puppets, dolls, toy cars, etc. It'll be finished by midnight, so the elves need to get chopping because this is all we have for this week." She said, pointing towards the large crates that the elves were hauling outside the window. Christmas was pretty soon, so they had no time to waste.

The two nodded, letting the thought go through their heads for a moment, and then moving on to a different topic for the occasion. Mikasa needed everything sorted out, replanting an entire forest by next week wasn't the simplest thing to do.

It wasn't easy for Mikasa to cope with the fact that she has to work under some guy who killed Santa not to long ago, and with some rock too.

'That fucker probably doesn't even pay attention to what I'm telling him... He's probably too busy keeping his eyes the half elf... Maybe if he started paying attention his french ass would learn something.'

Soon afterwards, Mikasa left for a moment to prepare the other elves to go haul the newer toys into the sleigh. Eren and Levi were then left alone for the time being, still unsure of what to do at the moment.

It wasn't really as late as they thought it was, mostly because the time-zones back in the city was much different than the North Pole, so they could never tell how late or early it was. The sky glowed in a way where it was either the middle of the day or late at night, maybe even two o' clock after the sun had risen.

"Hey Levi..." Eren said, with an unsure tone in the back of his throat. He had something in the back of his mind for a while now, but he didn't really know how to ask.

"Hmm?"

"How did you get to the top of the naughty list?" Eren asked.

Levi pursed his lips and thought for a moment. How did he get to the top of the naughty list? He wasn't as evil as Osami Bin Laden or Hitler. Well, he made a joke about how the Nazis probably played a drinking game where they took a shot every time a Jew dropped dead, but he got slapped for it after some lady named Carla, the Jewish woman at his firm who was trying to get a meeting in court so the police would start searching for her son again, so that didn't count.