MERRY. FUCKING. CHRISTMAS. [Riren/Ereri AU]

Chapter Ten~: ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS THE WEEB SAID NODACHI~...

[A/N: GUYS. IVE BEEN GETTING FEEDBACK THAT MY BOOK IS TOO CRACKY AND PUNNY SO IM GOING TO START TAKING IT MORE SERIOUSLY *been taking this shit seriously since day one and just has a horrible sense of humor* SUPER CHAPTER DELAYED DUE TO NEW PARTS OF THE STORY.

INEEDCOFFEEHELPME IS NOT WEARING PANTS WHILE WRITING THIS.

THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF INEEDCOFFEEHELPME WITH A SHIT LOAD OF CRACK IN IT.

EXPECT AN ACTUAL STORY. *throws away my notebook of crack and joke ideas while slightly regretting it because there was shit load of pages in there* FUCK]

A few days had passed since Levi had learned about Erwin Smith. Based on what Eren told him, the guy led the elves who went outside of the North Pole to check on who's been naughty or nice.

It's ridiculous.

'How could unnaturally short adults take a holiday like this so seriously? And for one night a year!'

'Says the one being a temporary Mr. Claus because of an "accidental" murder.'

'WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!'

'We've met before, you savage. I'm your lawyer side.'

'LEAVE.'

'I CAN'T DUMBASS.'

Levi smacked his head and slouched against the shiny sleigh that he had been learning about. His let his head rest against the wood and just took deep breaths. Eren looked over to him and yelped.

Eren jumped and turned towards Levi. He felt anxious from the sudden thud when Levi made contact with the ground.

"...I'm fine I'm fine. Just tired," Levi replied. Eren nodded and resumed feeding Armin, who needed help grabbing the carrot because his legs were too small to go on his tippy-hooves to get it. Eren let Armin be, who was gnawing on his carrot happily.

Suddenly, Eren's head felt a light pang when he was reminded of a mental note out of the blue. "Oh! I almost forgot! Commander Erwin is returning from his expedition today!"

Levi choked on his spit and started lightly coughing. "Commander?" He said, using one of his classic skeptical expressions.

"Of course! He's a leader in my perspective!" Eren's eyes gleamed with joy. "He's ALSO a man who goes across the world to spy on little kids," Levi said, crossing his arms.

"I know! Isn't it great?" Eren asked, completely oblivious of what the message that Levi was trying to send him. Levi looked at the boy with a dull look in his eyes.

"Sure, let's just go with that," he said, giving up. Eren clapped his hands happily and checked the time on one of the wall clocks hanging. It was basically a wreathe with digits on it, but hey, it still works!

"He's going to be here soon. So we should probably head out to go meet him!" Eren said.

Out of the blue, he grabbed Levi's hand, catching Levi by surprise.

Levi still held on to his hand, disregarding the fact that Eren could be trying to kill him for all he knew. After all, he's holding another sort-of-human being's hand for the first time since a while. The texture of Eren's hand felt smooth, like after someone puts on a shit ton of lotion and fifteen minutes later it's not as oily, leaving it creamy at the touch. His grip was solid, yet gentle enough for Levi to hold on to it.

It was a nice feeling.

POP!

Suddenly, they were in a different place, outside in the freezing cold. Eren was standing up with his hands on his hips, while Levi landed upside down with his face buried into the dirty snow as his legs formed a T shape.