Going back...

chapter 8

Unconditional love comes once in a life time, some never experience such a thing. Others don't realise it's there before it's to late, that would be me.

I've been sitting here for 30 minutes, thinking. Thinking how this could have happened. Anxiety swells in my stomach making me want to throw up. A pain in my chest from breathing to heavily. But I still sit here, thinking. How did I not know, why didn't my father tell me. I talked to him once a week when I was in New York. But most of all, I wasn't here. I wasn't here for Liam, for Chase, for me, to see Micki be put to rest.

A single tear rolls down my cheek, I wipe it away, stand up and walk home. Everything feels different, the road doesn't feel as rocky and the breeze isn't as cool. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and dial my mums number, more tears fall down my face.

"Hello" her cherpy voice sounds.

"Mum" I whisper, crouching down in the middle of the road on my knees.

"Hayley, how are you" she seems over joyed to hear from me.

"Why didn't you tell me" I say slowly, whipping more tears from my eyes.

"Tell you what" she says oblivious to her daughter being in such a state.

"About Micki" I yell, not wanting to play games, angry because my own parents kept such a thing from me.

"I thought it would be for the best" she says sounding sorry yet pained for my loss.

"For the best, what best, so I wouldn't come back here and want to stay, that was 4 years ago" I yell again holding my head up with my hand, tears a drenching my shirt, my face feels red and wet from tears

"Hayley you had a beautiful 4 years of know problems, know sadness, you can't complain"

"While my best friends baby brother died, my baby brother, the little boy I looked after when he was sick" I felt so weak and vonerable. So selfish, I was happy while everyone I loved here was morning Micki. Images of Micki smiling and running to give me a hug filled my brain, he could always make someone feel better.

The sound of a car, made me stand up and start walking again. I don't feel like being road kill as well as depressed.

"I'm sorry, I thought you deserved to have some time,I was going to tell you,I just never got the chance,you always looked so happy and I didn't want to make you sad" my mother said defending herself.

"Well did you think the linger it went on the more angry I might be hwne it eventually came out" I yell ending the call.

___________________________

Sunday was uneventful, I watched Netflixs on the couch and ate ice cream, not the wanting to go out into the real world.

"Hey kiddo" I father smiles and walks into the room, his hands are dirty and he's wearing worn out jeans and a navie blue work shirt with few holes here and there. His face looks exhausted and little wrinkles have appeared across his forehead.

"Do you want to grab something to eat" I'm tired and hungry. He says rubbing his hand through his hair.

"I could cook, I say jumping up" it wasa thing my dad and I used to do. But we would almost burn the house down before mum would run in saving the day.

"Let's make pasta, you start cutting onion and Bacon up".... He started to say before he was cut off by his phone. "Ill be back" he says searching his pockets for his phone. "Hello Cameron Taylor speaking" I hear my father answering the phone.

I walk into the kitchen, the wooden floor is cool on my feet, the smell of fresh air overflows my nostrils.

The kitchen has two big windows that are joined, looking over fields of sugar cane and in the distance is a dam of water surrounded in trees which makes it hard to make out. The navy blue cupboards, wooden counter tops and white shelves have a small layer of dust. The little potted hurb garden near the stove also drooping a little. The featureal brown and white pattern long the bottom of the walls was also chipped in a few places.

I walked over to the pantry, there where a few onions in a basket at the bottom. After crying and making treable faces, my father decides to walk on in, with a few extras. "Hayley, I decided to invite Malcolm and Heather Reed you remember them" my dad says cheerfully winking at me like he was up to something.

My eyes were red and puffy, I was still in pajamas, and my hair was a complete mess. Usually this wouldn't matter because I'm such a chill person but right now oh no. This was the first time I had seen them since I was back. I had grown up I'm the past 4 years. And they are seeing a disfunctional person with red puffy eyes. Great...

"Of course" I smile hugging Heather and Malcolm. "Sorry I'm kind of a mess, I didn't no we we're getting visitors. I say looking down at my pink and blue spotty pajama short. "I've started the pasta, the onion is in full swing" I say trying tolaugh at my red puffy eyes.

"Honey, I'm so glad you decided to come back for your last year of high school, I no liam will be pleased" heather says with a warm smile. "Don't worry about your pajamas you look cute" she says winking and going to the fridge before pulling out Bacon and cream.
"I bet it's hard for your mum to let you come back" Heather starts small talk as we chop and dice.

"Yeah, it was, but I think it's almost harder for dad because hes lived on his own for so long" I say still chopping tomarto.

"Your father has wanted us to come over ever night you have been home to show you off, he so happy your hear" she says smiling putting everything into a saucepan.

My heart warms hearing that, my mother would have just blown off having people over, unlike my father. He is such a peoples person.

"Liam said he'd come tonight, I'm not sure what's keeping him" heather wanders out loud. Bang, m heart speeds up, I can feel the pulse in my thumb. I now feel the need to tap my foot on the floor. Liam is coming, he will be the end of my heart, I can tell.

Almost as she said though words, there was a knock at the door, and someone invited them self in. My eyes were glued to where he should apprear. A tingling feeling went up my spine. The footsteps seem to beat the same time as my heart. Thump, thump thump.

Someone in dark blue jeans and a white shirt came around the corner. His soft brown hair bouncing and neat, a huge smile plastered on his face looking at me. He held out his arms about to give me a big when heather stopped him with a knife to his chest. The knife was flat so it wouldn't hurt him. "Don't you boys come walking into this kitchen and not help" she says with a death smile. chuckling to herself as she bring the knife to cut more veggies up.

Chase looked mortified. He was stopped in his tracks looking where the knife had been placed. Wyatt and Liam stood behind Chase laughing.
"That's why we send him in first" liam said to Wyatt laughing, loans eyes met with mime for a second but it was gone. The boys sobered up and walked past into the lounge.

"I almost got stabbed" Chase said with wide eyes, patting his chest while his eyes looking me up and down. "Cute shorts" he says smiling and walking past following the rest of the boys.

"Crap" I say under my breath. "I'm going to change into something more... Decent" I whisper to Heather running away up to my bedroom.

I quickly put on a pair of dark navy blue shorts and a white tee shirt that came off the shoulders. I quickly dry shampooed my hair and made sure it looked alright and left it down. I ran back down the stair and back into the kitchen. "You look nice" Heather said easing an eyebrow. "Dinner is ready, you bring the salt and pepper" she said without looking back and holding a dish of pasta in her hands.

"Sure thing" I say even though nobody will hear me. I walk through the lounge and onto the deck. There are a big table and chairs all set up with knives and folks and cups. The candles around the deck are all lite and there is a can't smell of mosquito spray.