A New Life (adopted by the sidemen)

Ch. 7 Make You Believe You Are Lovely

Lux's POV

Tears formed in my eyes as I take deep breathes, trying to remember tricks that past therapists told me about. Nothing seemed to work but I continued to try. I may seem dramatic about this whole thing but just by coming out to the boys caused me to have one of my worst panic attacks in my life.

Everyone always has this skewed depiction of bi people. They stereotype us as cheaters, selfish, and or just confused. Our sexuailty is never valid, most of the time not even in the LGBT community because we're not "gay enough". This has been proven many times to me by past abusers.

Sitting down on a bench outside I continue to breathe unevenly in a futile attempt to calm down. I didn't know anyone followed me until somebody sat down next to me. Their body pressed against mine causing me flinch at the contact. A small whimper accidently slipped from me making me seem even more weak.

The person ignored my flinch and wrapped their arms around me and just as they started to talk I realized it was Josh. "Lux nobody's upset, nobody's mad ok?" He spoke so softly and gently as he pulled me even closer into his warm embrace and onto his lap. Not being able to really hold anything else back I started to cry. Sobs racked through my body as I shoved my head into his chest. He rubbed soothing circles on my back while my body trembling. "I'm so proud of you sweetie. I want you to understand this okay. I need you to. Everyone was just surprised. I'm so sorry we upsetted you." He continued to talk to me while I sobbed everything out.

We stayed like this for awhile until I finally calmed down. Josh wiped the final few tears from my cheeks and gave me a weak smile which I returned. Sitting up slightly I rested my head on his shoulder in exhaustion. "I love you dad." I said out of the blue, shocking myself because I only ever called him Josh.

Josh's POV

My heart immediately swelled up with so much love and joy. Lux told me she loved me and for the first time called me dad. Squeezing her into a slightly tighter hug I kissed the top of her head and replied, "I love you too, baby girl." A small smile grew onto her face.

She turned and wrapped her arms around me. We hugged for a bit then decided to head back inside. As soon as we sat down all eyes flew to Lux in concern. Everyone rushed to say how they were sorry and that they were completely fine with her being bi. Lux told everyone it was fine, it just caused her to have an anxiety attack.

The conversation moved on to random things until the food came. Everyone immediately dug into their food. Nobody really made any effort to talk until all the food was gone. Well all excepts for Harry's salad that which he only ate half of.

Skipping on dessert we paid the bill then piled back into the car and retreated to the sidemen house. Sitting around the Xbox in the living room everyone versed each other. I noticed that Simon was on his phone most of the time which is very out of character. He would normally be very attentive to whoever was playing. But before I could question him, Simon excused himself and left in a slight hurry to upstairs.

This made me worried so I decided to follow him up to his and Lux's floor. Seeing that he locked himself in his room causing me to become even more worried. Coming closer to the door I hear muffled crying coming from the behind the door.

"Simon?" I call out after knocking on the door, the crying quickly stopped with a quite audible whimper. Knocking on the door again I exclaim, "Simon can you please open the door?"

"Go away." He responded in a shaky voice, "I'm fine." I don't know if he was trying to convince me or himself.

"I'm not leaving," I told him trying to sound as firm but gentle as I could manage, "Open this door Simon."