Playing At His Level

{chapter eleven} in the midst of snow

I couldn't help but laugh. 

I knew exactly what I wanted on the canvas, knowing the wonderful scenery that had been sketched in my mind permanently. It lacked detail. Maybe it was the exhaustion I was causing among myself. I climbed down from the ladder and dropped the long paint brush to my side. I slipped off the once-white converse that were polka-dotted with splatters of various acrylics and paints. I took a step back to examine the canvas. I laughed again and fell onto my bed, brush in hand.

From my bed, I could see my entire room. My walls were filled with all of my paintings and drawings, on my shelves you could find vinyl and CD's from any band I liked. If it weren't for the colored paintings, and posters hanging on my walls, I'd have a very dark room. The walls were painted black, and I only had grey furniture and bedding. It seemed calmer, and in a way, more relaxing then bright, popping colors. Having a relaxing room helped when I had those panics. I bit my lip. Those panics. I haven't had an anxiety attack in almost six weeks, and to me, that was a huge record. 

I set a Bob Dylan playlist, and threw on a sweater that was almost two sizes too big. The cliched thing to do was drink tea and put my hair into a messy bun, just because it was raining outside. But it was always raining outside. I lived in Seattle, so that's just what happened. I liked rain. It was the perfect lullaby to lull you into a long sleep, or the perfect excuse to walk outside barefoot. Still holding onto my paint brush, I pressed my palm against the window, clear drops of rain continuing to gather. 

It had been three weeks since I'd last talked to Jace. 

Two weeks ago, we finally finished our presentation, and got an outstanding B- on the whole project. And after that, he became a stranger again. All over a kiss. It bother me most because aside from Aeryn, he was the only real friend I'd made in such a long time. I had friends. I actually had a lot because of Aeryn. But they just weren't close to me the way Jace or Aeryn were. 

I needed to take a walk. I set my brush on my shelf and slipped out of my room, hoping to stay quiet. Barely on my feet, I haphazardly made my way down the small hallway, into the living room. I reached out for the door handle and unlocked the dead bolt- 

"Adriana." 

My eyes closed, and while letting out a quiet sigh, I let my hand fall to my side. I turned around to face Michael. Fixing his cuff, a man dressed sharply in a white dress shirt stepped into the small hallway. A raw inhale escaped my mouth as I stared into two light blue eyes, a color much like my own. His eyes narrowed, assessing me up and down like I was a science experiment.

“Dad,” I closed my eyes tightly before flicking them up to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t see why you should be questioning me. I do own this house,” he casually tilted his head towards the family pictures that hung haphazardly on the wall behind me. 

I was holding in audacious anger, my hands curled into fists at my sides, my nails pinching the skin of my palms. “What are you doing?” My eyes challenged his, daring him to ignore my question.

“Business. I’ve told you this before,” he responded tightly. "Dont plan on leaving. I'll be back in an hour or so and I expect you to still be here."

I bit my lip to keep from saying something I'd regret. The anger boiling inside me, I controlled my head into a slight nod. I go to add a rude remark but swallow it back. Michael finished rolling his cuff and donned a formal black sportsmans jacket. The minute he brushed past me through the front door, I ran to my room and dived for my bed. 

I ripped into my messenger bag and dove around for the familiar and worn notebook. Eventually, I found it and as I stared down at the ten digits scrawled out into my biology notebook, written in Jace's sloppy handwriting next to a detailed sketch, I debated whether I should dial them. It had been so long since we had just had a normal conversation. He'd given me his number weeks ago, and I had never mustered up enough courage to actual follow through with it.