unholy (joshler)

chapter twenty three: epilogue

Three weeks later (one home 'sick' and the other two of brutal torture) Josh finds himself crying in the men's room of Columbus High.

As it turns out, it wasn't a bad dream. Of course when he goes to sleep he relieves the best moments, but when he wakes up reality crushes him yet again.

Tyler is prancing around the school like he used to, only different. His steps are clumsy, his smiles aren't messy and his words are much heavier now.

Everything's different. It's weird to have to duck his head when around the Football team, they had been his family.

Coach Hodge doesn't know his name, yet a month ago everyone in the school was screaming it.

Laura has come around, taking money and moving on.

Ashley's bed is back in Josh's room, Jason is still just a best friend.

Everything is how it used to be, the life Josh never really minded much until he was thrown into a different mix. Now he hates it, he hates how content he was being so...so boring.

His body is still coated in that damp, gross feeling. The feeling of being unclean, permanently tainted by that version of hell.

His heart is constantly heavy, his love for Tyler is still as strong and thriving as the feather around his neck. Every time he sees the boy he dies a little bit more.

It's getting harder too, as Tyler just made the basketball team as, you guessed it, captain.

Now he's everywhere, the talk of the town.

Josh is drowning.

The door to the men's room opens and Josh wipes his face furiously, not bothering to tuck the feather back into his shirt. It feels like a secret now, to even have it. Personal almost.

It's Tyler, the devil himself. He uses the bathroom quickly before washing his hands.

His shoulder brushes Josh's and he shivers, meeting Tyler's eyes in the mirror. The boy smiles.

"Nice necklace." He says, nodding towards it as he dries his hands.

"T-thank you." Josh wants to tuck it away now, to hide it from this strangers eyes, but as he stares for even longer something familiar flickers threw them.

"Do you mind..." He turns to Josh fully and reaches a hand out, touching it delicately as it rests in his palm.

And for a moment, Josh thinks he might just remember. For a moment he swears he sees the boy he loves buried inside those average eyes.

But then he's gone.

"Sick. Well, see you around Jim."

Josh swallows his heart again.

If he thought he was having trouble connecting with God before, he's definitely having a hard time now.

And he knows love is no longer an option. After all, when you fall in love with an angel no human can ever live up to him, to his perfection and his beauty.

Anything less would be a bit too dirty.

A bit too,

unholy