The Joker x Male Reader Oneshots

Pick Up The Phone

"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. Please record your message. *Beep*"

Joker hears instead of your voice through the phone.

Pick up the phone
Answer your texts
Well I apologize about last night
I really did not mean to disrespect
You, You better be alone
No I'm not obsessed
But if I catch you with somebody else
You know that I'm gonna be upset

You were out with your friends, not really doing anything. You guys were just sitting, drinking, and talking.

You love your boyfriend, the Clown Prince of Darkness himself, Joker. But sometimes it's nice just being out with friends, who don't know that you're even associated with him.

Your phone rings but you ignore it, turning your phone off. You never go out. This is your one night for yourself.

I truly believe that the reason I'm here is to tell you the truth your ending is here one day you must look at yourself in mirror
Oh I still don't think you are hearing me clear You must understand that our friendship is done justified by the person that you have become
And because of the fact that enough is enough
Now I'm the one that is holding the
gun!

You stumble into the house a bit buzzed around three am. You didn't mean to stay so long, lost track of time though.

"Where have you been?"

Joker asks from the sofa. The way he spoke, even in your intoxicated state, you could tell he was angry.

Whoa
loved you so much it hurts me
dear
And this, this will be the end of us
Pick up the phone
Pick up the phone
Pick up the phone
Well I apologize about last night
I really did not mean to disrespect

"Oh. Um." You giggle a bit. "Sorry, baby. I lost track of time."

"All night. Not even a single text."

He's trying really hard to keep his anger inside. Usually you'd apologize profusely like the submissive boyfriend you are. Joker has quite the temper and you've found out the hard way it's easier and less painful to do whatever you can to keep him happy.

But tonight, in your tipsiness- Is that even a word? You don't even know at this point.- You snap. Slightly.

Pick yourself up
Up off the floor
Wipe the tears up off your face
Because the cops are knocking on the door. They're gonna wanna know what's up! Better tell them that you fell 'Cause when they see the bruises on my face
They're probably taking both of us to jail

"I wanted to have a nice night out with my friends. No distractions. I turned my phone off. How often do I go out? Never. I'm always here. Ready to patch you up. To make you food. One night. That's all I wanted, one fucking night!" You ended up raising your voice without meaning to while walking to the kitchen to get some water.

You regretted not just apologizing as soon as you heard his footsteps.

I'm sick and tired of fighting each
other the lying, the crying, the calling your mother, the calling of names, we bother each other
We kiss and make up, and get under the covers
A dangerous cycle I don't understand the kicking, the screaming, the breaking of limbs
I'll be damned if I see you with some other man
If I cannot have you, then nobody can!

He turns you around punching your jaw. You narrow your eyes. You throw a left hook at his eye.

You two end up fist fighting. He's much stronger than you though, so he gets most of the good hits.

Whoa
This will be the end of us
I have tried way too many times to heal
I have loved you so much it hurts me dear, and this, this will be the end of us

You end up sitting on the kitchen floor with Joker not even five feet from you. You sigh. You should apologize and go to bed. But right now you're too pissed and drained of energy.

You look at the clock on the wall. You fought for a half hour straight. No wonder you're both so drained.

You don't want to be here right now. You shakily stand up. You grab your phone and walk out.

Death do us part
I thought you would never go stray from my heart
I'm better off without you!

"Where are you going?" Joker asks, confused and frustrated.

"Out." Is all you say before closing the door. You walk to your best friends as you cry. Why can't you have a normal relationship? Why can't you spend one night out with friends?

Your phone rings, it's Joker, of course. You decline the call.

"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system"

Joker groans, throwing his phone against the wall.

(We're sorry, the number you have
dialed is not in service at this time,
fuck you!)