The Joker x Male Reader Oneshots

I Don't Wanna Die

I look inside of myself, And try to find someone else, Someone who's willing to die, Instead of watching you cry for help. I know that blood will be spilled, And if you won't, then I will. My grave will never be filled, It's either kill or be killed. So let heaven be told, That some may come some may go, Where I'll end up, I don't know. But I ain't dying alone, I keep on asking the question, "Can I be saved by confession?"

You wake up on a cold cement floor. The last thing you remember is selling dope to this guy... You slowly sit up looking around. You see weapons on a table a few feet from where you sit, stairs that lead to a platform overlooking where you sit, and finally a few feet in front of you, a guy looking like he's in the same position as you.

A man walks out wearing a purple suit and clown makeup with scars coming from the corners of his mouth. You'd know him instantly, the Clown Prince of Darkness, The Joker.

You see this blood on my hands at least they're still reaching to Heaven. I got to pick up the pieces,
I got to bury them deep, And when you look into my eyes, I'll be the last thing you see

"Glad to see you're both up" He says walking up to the platform.

"See, in this funny little town, I get bored. And what's more fun than watching a fight? I mean, that's why wrestling is so popular. Well, wrestling is fake, but I assure you this is real."

He continues not letting us say a word. When he finally stops speaking you take your chance

"What do you mean? Why am I here? What do you want?"

You speak quickly so he couldn't interrupt. He chuckles darkly.

"Well, my dear, you two are going to fight. To the death. For my amusement."

I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
No I don't wanna die
So you're gonna have to.

You chuckle nervously and with a shaky voice speak.

"A-and if we refuse?"

His chuckle in response is sinister.

"I'll just kill you both"

His voice is so... Gravely. You know he speaks the truth, he'd have no problem just killing you. Yet, you find yourself strangely.... Turned on....?

Words turned into blood, and the blood keeps on pouring,
From every pour I wipe it up, cause this just could be the moment
Now someone gotta die and now my only opponent 'Cause I won't watch my baby cry, So I keep on just going.
Am I a man or a beast? It's mother nature at least. Watch humanity cease, Cause it's our human disease.
You got to kill when you gotta kill,
Yeah that's what they say.

You were distracted by the clown, which was a mistake, the other guy punched you. Then again, finally pushing you to the ground.

"No way, this freak is gonna kill me. If I have to kill you, so be it"

The man says through gritted teeth as he wraps his hands around your throat. You don't necessarily want to kill anyone, but the man had a point. If you have to kill this guy to save your life, so be it.

And I can't go against God's will,
You better pray 'Cause I'm an angel, a demon. Yeah I'm hell and I'm heaven, I'm everything you couldn't be, now you believe in the devil. I got to pick up the pieces, I got to bury them deep And when the dirt hits the coffin Just go to sleep.

You jam your fingers into his eyes, flipping you both over. You quickly stand up remembering there's weapons. You grab a knife.

Walking back over to the man still clutching his eyes, you smile. Oh, this feeling... It's delicious, like sweet sweet thick syrup with a slightly bitter taste, which makes it all that much better.

You straddle him and without hesitation you stab his chest, over and over again. Finally he lays still. Dead.

Now that I see
I see you buried
Six feet below.
Another life goes into the night.
I couldn't let him breathe,
'Cause I didn't wanna die

You drop the knife upon hearing clapping. You look up seeing the Joker clapping, applauding you. He walks over to you, putting his hand out.

You take his hand hesitantly, he helps you up.

"I didn't think you'd win, what a nice surprise. Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll take you to dinner"

You nod your head slightly confused as he points to where you can get cleaned up.

Well, it's not everyday you kill a man then go out to dinner with the Joker.... Let's see where it takes you.

I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
So you're gonna have to.