We're Just More Gay

25 [I expressed how i currently feel in this chapter]

Alex x: I'm bored

Brendon x: hey guys?

Alex x: yes

Tyler x: hello yea

Patrick x: present

Gerard x: 👋🏻

Brendon x: Ryan's feeling a bit down

Alex x: LETS CHEER HIM UP

Ryan x: I don't think you can cheer me up lol but thanks ig

Josh x: Ryan what's wrong?

Ryan x: I'm just sad

Gerard x: did something happen?

Ryan x: no

Ryan x: that's the thing I hate

Ryan x: I'm perfectly fine, but I'm always so empty

Ryan x: its like my emotions are bubbling over and i want to cry, but at the same time I'm emotionally missing something

Ryan x: it's not fun

Ryan x: I just hate being sad, and nothing anybody says can help it

Ryan x: it's always there no matter what I do

Ryan x: no matter who I'm with or what I'm doing I can never be truly happy I'm stuck having this gigantic bubble inside my chest that makes my heart hurt for no reason

Ryan x: I'm sorry I'll stop

Tyler x: Ryan it's okay to talk about this stuff we're hear to listen

Tyler x: I really wish you didn't feel that way

Ryan x: thanks I guess

Ryan x: whatever I'll just go take more meds and maybe feel better

Edit: hello, I wrote this a while ago, and it was exactly how I felt, I was empty and sad and stuff, and I thought it could never get better, but please don't think that. I still have really bad depression, but I don't feel as bad as I did, I'm a lot more happier, and able to smile than I was, so please know it won't always be hard, and I know you might want to end your life, but trust me. it's not ever going to be worth it. You have an impact to make on this world, so please stay here with me, for me, for people you love, for people that love you, and most importantly for you.

updated: 11/5/16