It Beats For You

Wishing On Ifs

Andy’s POV

I went down to the hotel computer center a little while after I left Rain in her room and logged onto the Black Veil Brides page so that I could check something out. I followed our link to Rain’s Twitter and saw what people were saying to her.

There were some really horrible things that I would rather not repeat, and the same went for Facebook. People dissed on her photography and everything they could find to pick at. As far as I was concerned, their arguments were invalid.

But most of them were from people saying things about her getting between me and Juliet and most of them being Juliet fans, which kind of pissed me off.

I stayed on the computer for a good couple of hours until Ashley came and found me, telling me it was time to get ready for the show.

I put on my war paint and leather and studs, then headed into Rain’s room.

She was putting her CDs in order and in the correct cases.

She was very OCD about that…

“You’re not coming to the show?” I asked her.

“Nope.” She said. It didn’t really have any emotion, it was just bland. I looked at her arms, which she had once again replaced the bandages with the rubber bracelets, but I could see a brand new wound peeking out over the top of the many bracelets. It killed me on the inside.

“Why?” I asked, my eyes returning to watch her pack.

“Not risking it tonight. I don’t want more Juliet fans to tell me to kill myself more than what I already get. Sorry.” Her voice had no life right now. It sounded…dead. Like someone who had lost almost all the will to live. I couldn’t let her slip away that easily; I wouldn’t let her.

“You know what? I’m sick of this. I see what they say to you on Facebook and Twitter! I’m going to call Juliet and tell her this shit has to stop.” I told her.

She stopped packing for a moment and looked up at me. “I can handle it, Andy.”

“Really? Because I don’t want to lose you because Juliet has a few dumbass fans who are taking it too fucking far!”

She just sighed and carried on packing her stuff. “I’m not going to fight about this, Andy. You can call Juliet if you really want to. I don’t care. I just really don’t want to be the reason shit starts between you two. That will be what gets to me the most.”

I stopped in my tracks. She really thinks it’s her coming between us?

“Rain, you aren’t the thing that’s breaking us apart. There’s much more to it, I just have to figure it out. You’ve opened my eyes to quite a few things, and Juliet…she’s pushing me away. She’s been distant. It’s upsetting me, like CC. I just…I wish things were better for the both of us, Rain. I wish we’d met at a different time in our lives, because if we had…” If we had, she’d be able to be mine, and I could be hers.

“Because if we had, what, Andy? Because if we had, I wouldn’t have to have all this pain and you could be my Saviour; my ray of light in the dark? Newsflash: You already are. You and four other wonderful, beautiful men who saved me so many times and never knew it. I have five rays of light, who save me on a daily fucking basis: Christian Coma, Jake Pitts, Jinxx, Ashley Purdy and you, Andy. But no matter what you guys do, this pain is something I have to work through alone.”

“No, you don’t. I’ll be there for you whenever you need me.”

“You can’t be, Andy, because I need you all the time. You and the boys are my only friends, my only family.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way. There are so many people who want to be your friend, and so many people who will love you so much if they just get to know you.” I tried giving her a smile and she looked away.

“Thanks, Andy.”

“Rain, please come to the show tonight? If we see anybody fucking with you, we’ll kick their asses.”

“I can’t, Andy. I’ll go to the next show.”

“Fine…at least let me walk with you and take your bags down to the bus.” I offered.

“I can carry my own bags.” She said adamantly.

“I know you can.” I said, picking up her suitcases, even though it hurt my hand like hell, and she grabbed her CD player and BVB bag.

We walked out of the room and I started talking again. “We’re glad you came on tour with us. I mean, the guys weren’t sure at first, because you’re a girl and I didn’t know you very well and neither did they, but we’re glad we invited you.”

“I’m glad I said yes.” I looked at her and examined her features. The sunlight was making her black hair look almost blue, and her brown eyes sparkled brightly.

I loaded the bags onto the bus and she sat down on her bunk.

“What are you going to do while we’re at the show?” I asked, curious.

“Write.” She said simply.

“Write what?”

“Lyrics; music.”

“What kind of music?”

She talked and I listened, but I got caught up in a daydream with brown eyes, black hair, and soft red lips…

I snapped out of it when she sighed. “What?”

“I know it’s boring,” She said as she stood up. “Now you better go catch up with the guys if you’re gonna make the show.”

I reluctantly left her there on the bus.

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