everything I can't say out loud

thankfulness

4/30/16

  One day, I was walking through the city. I forget why, exactly, but it was a warmer day and the sun was just peeking out. I was walking through the city streets and I wasn't feeling well. I didn't have a cold or anything like that, but I just didn't feel good that day. I kept noticing pretty girls everywhere and I kept wishing that I was one of them. I wished for my hair to be silky and smooth and for my skin to be peachy and clear. I wanted my body to be a bit more slender and for my makeup to be a bit neater. I was on my way to the trolley station to head back home with all of these thoughts still floating around in my head.
   While I was almost at the trolley station, a homeless woman approached me from the corner of the building asking for some spare change. I didn't bring any money with me that day so I apologized for not having anything to give her. The woman stared at me for a while without saying a word. I became a little bit frightened and I was contemplating walking away. I was about to walk the other direction before the woman said,

"You are so beautiful."

   I didn't quite know how to react because I really didn't believe her. I never thought for a second that I was beautiful. But I looked at the woman in front of me and I saw sincerity in her eyes. This woman had absolutely nothing but a coat, a pair of worn out pants, an a McDonald's cup that had a few dollars inside of it. She had no reason to be kind to me, to compliment me, but yet she did. This woman genuinely thought that I was beautiful. She could've easily told me otherwise because she didn't have much to lose, but she didn't, and that was the most sincere thing I had ever seen in my life.
  I smiled at the woman and said "thank you," as she continued to look at me.

"You should be a model," she said.

  My cheeks blushed and I thanked her once again. I began to walk towards the other direction, wishing that I had something to give to her. I searched my purse until I found a crumbled up dollar at the bottom. I took it from the bag and started making my way back to the woman. I gently placed it in her McDonald's cup as she looked at me with tears in her eyes.
  The woman asked for my name and age and I gave it to her. She told me that when she was my age that that was when she started messing up. She told me about her mother who passed away from cancer, and how she never spent any time with her before she died. She told me about her siblings who stopped speaking with her. She told me about everything, and I just simply listened. It had probably been a while since somebody listened to her, and I think she was hoping that somebody would.
  As the woman spoke, I started to become very thankful. I suddenly stopped worrying about the way that I looked and I took a moment to thank my creator for everything that I have in my life.
  The woman hugged me and told me to stay safe. When I broke away from her grasp, I felt as if I was a new person. I was more aware of the world around me and I was more appreciative of all of it. My eyes were a little bit more open. As I made my way back to the trolley station, I wished that I had more to give to her. I wished that there was another way to show my gratitude, something more than just a crumbled up dollar.
  But to that woman, that dollar probably meant so much more to her than I can comprehend. Isn't that crazy? How a dollar's value is only significant to those who rarely get to see it? We really don't appreciate things until we no longer have them. I wished that it wasn't that way.
  As I waited for the trolley, tears started to form in my eyes. I wish that everybody could be like that woman. I wish that kindness was primary. I wish that materials weren't so important. I just hope that one day, everyone can realize how fortunate they truly are.

  I wish for nothing more than thankfulness.

-caroline grace ❤️

this was a true story. I'm sorry that it's been a while since I've updated, but I'm gonna try to stick with this more often. hope you enjoyed this. don't forget to comment and vote!