everything I can't say out loud

someone else

the days are becoming very long.
I can't pinpoint why, but everything feels like it won't ever end.
I feel like I'm stuck here alone, in this everlasting time loop, while everybody else is swiftly moving forward, failing to notice me.
I stand here and I observe what's happening around me and I try to understand how I got here.

how did I get here?

sometimes it feels like I've always been here and I just failed to notice.
everybody fails to notice.
I never thought I'd mess up this badly.
I always tried to tell myself that it wasn't my fault and that some people just had poor taste.
that one day I'd wake up and everything would be different.
that I'd be surrounded by good things and opportunities and that everybody else would find themselves exactly where I was, stuck.
I never wanted to believe that it was my fault, but maybe it is.

maybe it's all my fault.

nobody thinks that they're bad, and maybe that's the problem.
everybody tells themselves that they're good,
that they'd never do anything wrong,
that they'd never hurt anybody,
until they do.

and one day, all of those people will be like me, stuck in an everlasting loop, knowing that they'd give anything in the world to wake up,

and to be someone else.

-caroline grace ❤️