Take Me to Church

- seven

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I ain't ever been in a church.

Mama didn't ever let me leave the house to begin with, but a church would have definitely been off-limits. She thought all that religion would mess with my head and I thought she was wrong. She was still wrong, but this place left me uneasy. It weren't that it wasn't pretty lookin' inside; it was a work of art all its own.

The inside was bathed in light, like a picture of righteousness. The pews were lined with gray stone statues of saints and angels, columns shooting up towards the sky every few rows behind them. The columns themselves were decorated with marble leaves and flowers carved so neatly they could have been real. I thought a breeze might come right on through and rustle 'em with how real they looked to me. They stretched up the columns 'til they hit the ceiling. And even there, art had been placed. Domed window-like structures let more light filter in, touching the ground in a radiant ray of light. Decorative patterns were carved at the base of each dome and stretched out until they reached the next set.

All the grand toppings of the church made me feel awfully small. And out of place. I tugged at the long skirt Rivka had lent me, toeing my way down the pews. People stopped to look at me. Some were surprised with their brows shot up to their hairlines. Whether it was a pleasant kind of surprise was a whole other matter. I saw ladies turn to their partner or friends with gloved hands covering their mouths as they whispered something to them. I had a feelin' they weren't sayin' nothin' nice.

Bein' gawked at was new to me. Sure, some of it had been done when I was with Rivka, but I was sure most of that was directed at the witch and not me. Now, I was on my own. I was the only strange thing they could think of to look at. I tugged at my hair and moved on, tryin' not to stare at anyone. I offered up nice smile and got some in return, but for the most part, they just kept on staring.

My skin tingled and tightened with each step I took. I thought I was gon' pass out right then and there. I wouldn't be surprised neither. The air around me was sweltering with the heat of everyone's gaze and my own nervousness. My heart pounded in my ears, an angry drum that threatened to swallow me up. I blinked back that thought, cuttin' it at the root.

Maybe I shoulda given myself a pep talk before walkin' in here. Most of the people would have known me as the girl that walked with the witch. They woulda heard if they hadn't seem me, and my clothes likely gave me away. I weren't no Christian girl they had ever known.

The old folks cleared and I was released into the seating for the younger generation. They took up the whole front of the church, minus the space at the altar for the choir and the altar boys. Majority of them were girls and kids too old to sit with their parents anymore. They turned their head in what was most similar to unison or a wave, a mismatched coordination of movement.

I stopped dead in my tracks. They eyed me until they seemed satisfied, and even then they were still lookin'. My gaze scanned the crowd for some place I could sit, because now I just needed to get out of the limelight. Ironically enough, I was standing right in the middle of one of the light rays. The light, too bright for where I was, forced me to squint. I heard a giggle from one end of the church as I scrunched up my eyes and took another step forward.

I must have been making a right funny face because there was more laughter. Or maybe it was just my approach. Or maybe it was something I just didn't get. I weren't too sure on the proper etiquette for church, 'sides not acting up and being on my best behavior. A weak smile slid over my lips as I raised my hand in a wave. A few people responded in kind and I didn't feel so bad anymore.