Thoughts {Completed}

The Knife or Life?

Once
I used to dream of soaring the sky
Touching the stars as I fly
But chains had me bound
Down to the ground

I willed myself
To get up each day
But the nights were always worse
For then the voices spoke

"You're a useless piece of shit,"
"Nothing but a burden,"
"Do us a favour,"
"Succumb to death,"

I tried to ignore them
Get my hope up again
Memories blurred my vision
Gave me shivers

Then came the knives
Incision upon incision
Crimson blood against
Pale white skin
Oh sweet pain
Take me away

I wondered what was beyond?
Would it free me from this blackness
That shattered my heart
And crushed my soul?

Wondered whether it was worth living like this?
I took the gleaming knife in hand
And remembered, what my mother had said...
"The world is a cruel place,
Use this knife to protect your life."
"Ha. Protect my life?"

The cold tip pressed against my neck
I could feel the pulse in my vein
How long before they find me?
Would they even care?

Hand shaking, I thrust the knife
The pain blinded me
It felt so good
Spots in my eyes
I fell to the floor
Gasping for air
I knew death was coming
To hold me in his embrace

Here I go...

*****