Falling Too (Tyler Joseph)

Chapter 17

I've come to notice that I spend a lot of my time thinking of my days in two ways, when I'm with Tyler and when I'm not. For whatever reason, after Tyler's birthday, the latter seemed to be the one that occurred the most often. I couldn't stop myself from worrying that it had something to do with what happened at my house. Did he regret almost kissing me? Was that what he had been doing at all?

I did my best to stay busy, even though I thought about calling him countless times. I just felt like I should give him space. If he wanted to get a hold of me he had plenty of ways to do so. When I wasn't at church or school I sat in my room, playing my ukulele. Making up silly songs about him, feeling ridiculous that I couldn't just go talk to him. My anxiety was a wonderfully evil creature.

Yet again I laid on my bed in the sunset's glow, strumming my uke as I hummed. I started to doze off and I suddenly woke back up a bit later, thinking that I had heard the doorbell ring. All I could hear was my mother's voice faintly from downstairs. I shut my eyes again, not even bothering to move my instrument from my stomach as I sank back into sleep.

I was awoken again by a pressure causing my bed to sink slightly and then a hand gently took mine. I opened my eyes as soon as Tyler murmured, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while."

My voice is still filled with sleep as I said, "Sorry."

He smiled softly telling me, "It's alright. Scoot over."

I did as he told and I sat my ukulele on the floor on my side of the bed as Tyler laid down next to me, his body chilled from the outside. I grabbed my phone to check the time and saw that it was four in the afternoon. When I shut it off I noticed Tyler's reflection in my phone as he peered over at me.

I turned to him slightly asking, "Can I take your picture?"

He grinned slightly saying, "Only if you take it with me."

"Deal." I say and get the camera on my phone ready.

Tyler leaned his head into my shoulder as we smiled up at the camera and I took the shot.

When I pulled the photo up to look at it Tyler made the remark, "I hate my smile."

I rose an eyebrow at him, "Why? You have a lovely smile."

He seemed to try to resist smiling at that as he rolled his eyes at me. "Whatever you say. Hey, do you want to go somewhere?"

Without hesitation, I said, "Sure."

We both sat up and I got off the bed to put my ukulele in its proper place and grabbed my black coat while Tyler waited by the door.

On our way downstairs I asked, "So where are we going?"

He shrugged and held the front door open for me as I said a quick goodbye to my mom. "For a drive I guess."

I simply nodded and made my way to his car. I was glad that it wasn't freezing inside and as soon as Tyler started the car he put the heat on full blast. I was glad to hear that he had been listening to one of the CD's I had given him and as we drove he softly sang along. We drove for a while until the roads got more and more wooded. I noticed a sign as we crossed a small bridge since I found the name amusing.

"Little Sugar Creek. That's cute." I remarked.

Tyler saw it right as we passed it and I was sort of surprised when he pulled the car over on the side of the road and suggested, "We should go explore it."

Something about the expression on his face had me agreeing even though I knew that it was cold outside. On our way down the embankment, I took in the sights of the snow covering the bare trees and the edges of the stream. I noticed how quiet it was out here, the only sound I could hear was the water flow next to us.

"It's beautiful here." I murmur as I continued to gaze around, doing my best to keep moving so I could stay warm.

Suddenly Tyler was next to me and instantly my entire being seemed to blush as his fingers slid between mine. Despite my nervousness, I held onto his hand and he returned the gesture. I was dying to ask him if he felt this too, this jittery feeling whenever we touched, talked, or even looked at each other. Was he as scared as I was, but at the same time so hopeful and excited? Was I putting too much thought into this? And since I couldn't make sense of my jumbled thoughts I decided that it was better to just stay silent and enjoy the moment.

We walked around until it began to get much darker and he pointed out that we should probably go. On the drive back Tyler grabbed my hand yet again, sending my brain into a jumble and my heart pounded so hard that it actually hurt. I kept glancing over at Tyler since his gaze nearly always remained on the road in front of him. As I watched him, something that should have been glaringly obvious came to my mind.

I always had a feeling that it might happen and it seemed that no matter how much I drug my heels against the pull of my emotions, in the end, I had lost. I wasn't really sure if it could be considered a bad thing, but all and all the feeling itself was absolutely wonderful. I knew that it would probably bring nothing but trouble, but here it was as plain as day. I was falling in love with Tyler.