Ideas are unfathomable creatures. They fester around one's mind until one feels the urge to blurt it out. Dana Birdhouse had complicated ideas. They festered and questioned the basis of the Earth and its dwellers. She was often put under daydreams, particularly during a lecture, where her ideas would fester to the breaking point and she couldn't help but open her mouth and let loose a string of theories. No one was particularly fond of Dana's utterances. They usually just waved a hand and made a good joke out of it. Dana's ideas weren't necessarily true, right? Why take the effort to insinuate more useless banter by taking her seriously. By golly, that would be ridiculous!
One weekday luncheon, Dana was feeling particularly blabbery and suggested the most unbelievable idea. Her friend, Sierra Jay, was worried about how they could escape the science room they were eating in (on cold occasions, they managed to sneak in the classrom) without unleashing a mob of energetic Chemistry Honors students into the room (the honors students were always exceptionally pushy).
"Oh, how will we ever find an exit?" Sierra inquired, fanning herself frantically.
"Why must we always exit doors? Why not... wombs?" Dana asked. She puffed out her chest proudly. What a fantastic fester! Dana would indeed be seen as the hero of the day.
To Dana's dismay, Sierra, in revulsion, quipped, "My word, Dana you have outdone yourself. This is probably the most ridiculous idea you have ever come up with." She shook her head, obviously baffled by Dana's 'stupidity'.
"What if we could exit our own wombs?" Dana asked, mostly to herself. Her eyes had once again glazed over as per usual when she was in her dream state.
Sierra beated her head against a nearby lab table in frustration. Christina, who had been eavesdropping to their conversation, chuckled to herself and layed a pillow under Sierra's head so she wouldn't have brain trauma. Christina loved to sew pillows of the faces of her favorite characters from Marvel comic books. Today's pillow was of Captain America. Why she made pillows and brought them to school, no one would ever know. Dana had once wondered aloud as to why Chrisitina did such things, but she only received cryptic answers.
"Why doesn't she just make outfits? Why must it be pillows?" She had asked. She only received shrugs and a gleaming grin from Christina. What an odd creature.
As Sierra was completing her final head bang, April, a friend of the group's, bounded up to them. April was looking crazily colorful, even for her own standards. She was wearing a 'I love vampires' t-shirt and a pair of tie-dye pantaloons. April was also an odd character. In fact, most of Dana's companions were a bit off. Sierra, however, was not as odd as the others. She was usually the one with her head on straight. Perhaps not anymore, what with her consistent head banging.
Contrary to her colorful style, April's musical taste was quite muted. She enjoyed listening to soft jazz. She was also giddy about the subject of vampires. She believed that they were the most powerful and awesome supernatural creatures that had a habit of biting.
"Apripalooza!" Christina screeched in horror. She had a habit of mispronouncing names when she was in a fright.
"What?" April asked, setting down her purse. It was the size of a miniature chihuaua, April's bag. It only held a pencil and some chewing gum, at the most. April was not a huge fan of carrying large bags.
"Aprilpriate!" Christina was now clutching April's face, squishing her cheeks in the process. "Oh my God, Sierra, come help! Aprilximate has lost sight! Her eyes have gone missing!"
Sierra, raising her head from the lab desk, came to inspect the origin of Christina's antics.
"Her eyes are right there. Perhaps you are the one who is blind, Christina. Did you prick your eye while sewing your pillows?" Sierra sneered. She may not have been the most dented of the bunch of grapes, but she was definitely the most sour.
"Christina, I'm wearing contacts today. Please takes your hands off my face. They seem to be riddled with scabs and I don't want to have your blood on me," April said, wrenching Christina's hands off her face. Her hands really were riddled with scabs. Perhaps she did pluck her eyes, along with her hands. How disgusting.
Christina retreated back to her pillow, resting her head on it. It seemed as though frights also left her energetically drained.
"Absolute lunatics, the lot of you," Sierra muttered, crossing her arms. Her arms were always good indicators of how she was feeling. Like right now, for instance, Sierra was cross.
"Mmm... Wombs," Dana said dreamily.
"Oh! Katherine! I hand no idea you were here!" April exclaimed to an apparently drunk Katherine cradling a bottle of vodka in the corner.
" 'S be'ause yuh were 'aking sssselfiesss earlier. 'robraree didn' noticcceee 'eeeeee." Kathrine slumped and fell to the ground, taking her vodka as a hostage.
"Your fault for not coming to take pictures with us," April huffed. Katherine never liked to take pictures. It was long ago suggested that she was afraid of taking photos. Katherine obviously never confirmed. She was always either consuming nutella crepes or vodka, although the two didn't really mix together harmoniously. Dana had a crazy notion that Katherine was a demon child.
"Like in Insidious," She had said. "The little boy dreaded taking pictures because he was being followed by a creepy bride."
Dana was often caught asking Katherine whether she liked weddings and even tried to throw a veil on her head once to see if she would hiss. Katherine, of course, was never in a good position to answer (Nutella and vodka).
At the ring of the bell, the group finally gathered enough courage to venture out through the entrance, much to Dana's arguing and yelling of the word "womb".
"This is quite the peculiar institution, what with the students being so ready to learn," April said, referring to the excited Chemistry Honors pupils pushing at the door.
"Nice shirt," April complimented to a boy wearing a graphic tee saying 'I'm a slave to school' as the group squeezed through the door.
The cluster of cronies finally mumbled their goodbyes, going their separate ways to their third period class. Dana had Geometry third period. Not that it mattered. She was off daydreaming the whole period about her new notion: Wombception.
Picture: Jamie Chung casted as Sierra Jay
