"I, Christina Prick, head chairwoman of the Justice Leighgue authorize this meeting to finally commence."
Christina threw her arms up in the air in an upright fashion as the bundle of buddies languidly lounged in their desks. Dana, who a week earlier had been admitted into the group under careful consideration, turned to Sierra.
"Why are you here?" Dana secretively susurrated.
"I only came here for the food and the comfortable seats," Sierra stated blandly, lazily motioning to the pillow cusion underneath her. Each member of Christina's prestigious partnership had their own personal pillow. Sierra's had her name imbezzled with rubies and included a surprisingly detailed embroidery of Taylor Lautner. She was an avid fan of Taytay.
Dana nodded, turning her attention to the other pupils in the room. Mila and Katherine were in the corner trading Nutella crepe recipes. Katherine seemed to be going through her sober period.
"Europeans," Dana muttered under her breath.
"What do you have against Europeans?"
Dana looked up to see Cranberry Cowdinner, decked out in various leathers (she apparently lived up to her last name through her fashion sense).
"Hey, Cran," Darya cheerfully chirped, ignoring Cran's earlier question. "I didn't know Christina added you to the club."
"She didn't," Cran bluntly babbled. "I added myself, really."
Dana raised her left eyebrow. It took Christina weeks to finally accept Dana's admittance, whereas Cran just invited herself in. What an outrage! Dana furiously blew air through her nostrils as Cran pulled a plastic bag out of her purse.
"What is that?" Dana huffed.
"Cockroaches," Cran countered candidly. Cran had a fetish for bugs, particularly those from areas near England. No one understood why. Although, in Cran's defense, no one ever asked her. As the saying goes, never pester a person possessing pests. Perhaps that's why Christina allowed her to come to the meeting so quickly. Dana slowly came to terms with this notion.
"Now that you've acquainted yourselves, I'd like for us to begin." Christina picked up a cardboard box from her desk and began handing out bananas to the leighgue members.
After she finished handing out the bananas, Christina continued, "Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for joining me this fine evening."
Dana furrowed her eyebrows. It was 6 in the AM, not the evening.
"Are you low off hugs?" A male voice carelessly called out. Dana snapped her had in the direction of the voice, rewarding herself with a painful crick in her neck. Curse her inhumanly fast reflexes!
The brusque bellow belonged to Trevor Detipahoe, a peer of Dana's who had hair that defied all laws of gravity.
"I beg your pardon?" Christina replied.
"It's 6 AM, Christina. Not the evening," Trevor said, voicing Dana's thoughts.
Christina, ignoring his comment, coninued, "As a was saying, I'd like to show my appreciation towards your appearance at our first ever Justice Leighgue meeting. I give you... The gift of skin hydration."
Christina then dramatically unpealed the banana in her hand, tossing her head back and flipping her hair at each peel excorticating interval. After finally undressing her banana, she smashed the fruit against her face, massaging it into her skin. The crowd was tranfixed, as if entranced by Christina's moisturizing abilities. Surely, dermatologists loathed her! Slowly, the audience began to unpeel the banana and the melodious music of moisturizing resounded around the room. Even Sierra, although somewhat begrudgingly, was taking part in this metamorphic massage.
"Now chant! Sincostan, cossincot!" Christine bellowed. The crowd did as she requested.
After 5 minutes of chanting, Christine finally hushed the group newly-transformed leighgue members.
"It's as if my whole attitude has changed," Sierra whispered in astonishment. "I feel... Less judgemental."
Dana, who looked as if she were turning green, mumbled incoherently.
"My sight! I can see!" April happily hollered as she threw her glasses on the floor and smashed them under her platform heels.
"I knew she was blind!" Christina ululated.
"It's coming," Dana gasped. She grabbed Sierra's collar and hissed, "Get my water from my bag."
The 'new-and-improved' Sierra quickly retrieved Dana's watter bottle and handed it to her now-convulsing body. Dana's grabbed the water bottle and gripped it so tightly that it shattered, spilling all over the floor.
"My water broke," Dana gasped.
"Your water broke," Sierra whispered in bafflement.
Picture: Emma Watson cast as Christina Prick
