It was precisely 10:13 in the AM on a Wednesday afternoon as students sorrowfully shuffled through the open channel that led to Mr. Bobert Marren's AP English classroom. Dana, as per usual, had arrived 10 minutes early and spent her free time gleefully gabbing her idea of Wombception to her friend, Mila. Mila Soremedicine was a bashful beauty, but, on that particular day, she was acting quite bratty. As Dana recited the climax of her fester, Mila's head made a light thump against her desk.
"Oh my!" Dana exclamed excitedly. After about a minute of investigation (one minute, mind you, that Dana could have spent to further explain her theory), Dana came to the conclusion that Mila was, in fact, sound asleep. Sound asleep from what, one would ask? That is an unknowable notion. Quite baffling, considering Dana's Shakespearean background in the drama industry. She knew just the right way to retell a story. In fact, Dana starred in many plays, though she was mostly well-known for the ones where she played the role of a homeless dog and a tree. Two different roles for different plays, of course. Why, if she had played both a dog and a tree, that would create quite the catastrophe. Now, back to the matter at hand.
Dana poked Mila's side, hoping to awaken her before the bell struck, signaling the end of their free time to discuss her theory. She began to worry as Mila failed to stir even after the morning announcements. Perhaps she was dead? Could this be a symptom of Wombception, Dana thought? Because she writing a list of items that she would need to perform Mila's atopsy, Dana did not notice the growing figure approaching from behind them.
"LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" A low baritone voice boomed from behind Mila. Mila, the poor creature, was cought off guard (her guard had a habit of shutting down during slumber), and she squealed and dived to her right side. Unfortunately, the classroom desks had a bar on the right side, so Mila's attempt at escape ended up rebounding her off the barricade, which then led her to meet the bar on Dana's desk. Mila continued to bounce off both bars until Mr. Marren, with his wits finally gathered, grabbed both of her shoulders so that she could no longer bounce.
"I'm gwyne to tell you this only once," Mr. Marren said, pulling his hands away from Mila's shoulders. "I do not tolerate sleeping in my classroom."
"But-" Mila protested.
"No, Mila. No buts of any sort-" Mr. Marren was cut off short by the sound of a cackle echoing all around the classroom.
"Defecate," He swore formally, looking off to the sky, or rather, the stained cieling. "The ghost of Donna has come to haunt me once again."
He shivered in utter uneasiness. Dana, finally over Mila's complete disregard for her idea of Wombception, decided to speak up for her.
"Mr. Marren, I must politely disagree with your accusation towards Mila. It seems as though the classroom temperature is too comfortable and she was beginning to tire..."
"Your argument is weak, Dana. I would grade your essay a 5, it most definitely would make me break in hives."
Dana scoffed.
"However," Mr. Marren continued, "I do see your point. It's as if the room has reached womb temperature."
"W-what?" Dana choked, feverishly flustered.
"Womb temperature", he repeated before turning away. "Womb," he murmered to himself. "Bosom."
"Bizarre," Dana mumbled.
"You know what's even more bizarre?" Mila asked as Mr. Marren walked to another table group.
"That Kent hasn't spoken yet?"
"No," Mila said, waving her hand as if to bat the idea away. "He's on a study date with April. What's bizarre is Mr. Marren's eyes."
Dana took a good glance at Mr. Marren's pupils, raising her eyebrow as high as it could go. Mr. Marren, who at the time had looked in their direction, made a face. Dana scowled, quickly turning away. She always had issues with her left eyebrow, particularly when she wore glasses. Dana always assumed that her glasses shrouded the northern hemisphere of her face, when, in fact, it just magnified her appearance. Very much similar to Mr. Marren's eyes.
"Like an anime character!" Dana exclamed, turning to Mila. Mila nodded her head vigorously.
"Precisely," she whispered. The two bosom buddies giggled, the idea of Womception pushed away from their minds...
... For the time being.
Picture: Mila Kunis casted as Mila Soremedicine
