Crystal Visions.

That's when I needed you...

Mid 1983... 

I investigate my reflection in the mirror, my makeup has just had the finishing touches. I'm so grateful they had a product with enough coverage to cancel out my dark circles, this tour hasn't been a walk in a park. Bringing Aaron with me on tour was a great decision, I get sad when I don't see him at least once a day. Or I'm lucky if I get a chance to see him, I've been so busy with rehearsals, interviews, soundchecks, recordings...I've been on such a tight schedule, and I have to keep going on, I can't just stop in the middle of something. I have to follow through. Jenny has been a big help, she is a night nurse but thankfully she's done more than put Aaron down to sleep, she's given me more time to take care of the rock n roll business...I do miss putting him to sleep though. And I miss rocking him in my arms, singing him to sleep, or just listening to him ramble on in his language that is foreign but utterly adorable. From the top corner of the mirror, I see it peer open, I grab my comb and softly comb out my curls. My tour manager  and personal assistant walk through, just as they do my hair stylist comes back in to see if my hair needs any more volume...etc. I drown out some of the chatter, I think about Aaron lying in his bassinet of the bedroom of the hotel suite I'm staying in. 

He's slipping through my fingers, he's grown so much! he's walking, and what a pair of legs he has! He can run and his comprehension skills for his age are quite surprising, Now Lindsey doesn't necessarily baby talk Aaron but he also doesn't talk to him like he's an Adult. He just makes sure what he says to Aaron is simple enough for him to understand, Lindsey's done a good job because I walked in on him chasing some bubbles that Waddy blew from a bottle of bubble detergent and he was shouting '' I got it! nix one please-a'' so cute.   

Through the small crowd in the bathroom with me, I hear a gentle '' Miss Nicks?'' I get distracted by my assistant. '' Miss Nicks?'' I hear behind me, I turn around to face them, it's Jenny, '' Yes Jenny?'' I am in a little bit of a hurry so I turn back to the mirror and re-check my appearance. My dress is straightened out, my hair looks great, and my makeup is flawless I smile at Christie '' Thank you Christie, you always do an incredible job at making me look somewhat decent.'' I say to her. But before she can answer I hear Jenny again but this time she's raised her voice a little '' Excuse me Miss Nicks please?'' I look to her again. She's young mid twenties, strawberry blonde hair, pale, an inch taller than me but her stature is more slender than my slip shadow of an hourglass frame. She releases a soft breath '' I need to speak with you?'' before I can answer her, I hear a knock on my hotel door. '' That would be the television crew and interviewer for the ET segment'' I'm then rushed from the bathroom into the lounge area of the suite.  

'' Miss Nicks, I have to speak to you, it's--'' before she can finish I say to her '' Jenny please can we save this for after the interview?'' I say walking over to the interviewer...  

The interview was a little bit more nosey than I had thought, but then again if you're engaged to an ex who gave you a precious little boy, of course people are going to ask questions. I did clarify that Lindsey and I are not just engaged to be wed because he knocked me up! we're getting married because we are so in love with each other, our relationship has returned to that love between a sweet young man and a sweet young woman that we had during the fritz 'days'. And it's what's best for Aaron, he needs both of us...he needs me...I walk into the bedroom of the suite. I hear Jenny humming, I creep the door open to see her standing up over the crib holding Aaron and humming him a soft lullaby. '' That should be me.'' a possessive toxin runs through my body, it starts in my brain then eventually hits my heart. I cross my arms and purse my lips together in a territorial manner, I feel like a lioness trying to protect her cub. Though I haven't been doing that lately, but still to see some other young woman holding your baby, and singing him to sleep, and giving him the same look of maternal affection that you give to them...I'm fuming on the inside, my breathing becomes cold and weighs down on me.