The Story of Us

Chapter 16: Chances

 "Can we talk?" He asked.

(Now Playing: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol)

No. "What's there to talk about?" I replied. I can't cry. I don't need him to see me this weak.

"Can you just let me  explain?" He pleaded.

"Would that change anything? Do you think I want your explanations?" I exclaimed. I didn't want to snap at him, I actually want to hear him explain, but my words are saying otherwise.

He sighed, "Mika, I know what I did was wrong. Just please give me a chance."

Eto yung mga salitang natatakot ako marinig galing sakanya. Natatakot ako dahil nararamdaman kong bibigyan ko siya ng chance. Pero tama ba to? Kaya ko pa ba? Gusto ko pa ba? 

Isa lang ang sure ko, I love Keith, but I don't know if I can stay in a relationship with him. Ang drama ko ba? You can't blame me, I loved two guys my whole life and both of them didn't end up good.

"I'm serious Keith. Wala ng mababago yung explanations mo. We're over." 

Keith's eyes twitched when I said the words "We're over". 

"Then, just hear me out. I need you to hear me out." He pleaded.

"What exactly do you need from me Keith? Forgiveness? Para gumaan konsensya mo?" I asked. Pagnagtuloy tuloy to alam kong magsisimula akong makaramdam ng galit. But I need this. I need to get through this. 

"I want you. As foolish as it sounds, I do want you back Mika."  

"You want me? So ano pala yung ginawa mo? Yun ba yung way mo para ipakita saken na gusto mo ko? Hinde ko maintindihan Keith. And napapagod na kong intindihin." Nararamdaman kong humihina na yung boses ko. 

Hinde ako sinagot ni Keith. Nakatingin lang siya sa sahig at magkasalubong yung mga kilay. 

"Kung ako ba yung nasa posisyon mo anong mararamdaman mo?" Tanong ko. Halata sa mga boses ko yung saket na nararamdaman ko.

Lalo naman nagsalubong yung mga kilay niya pero tumingin na siya saken.

"Don't say that. Hinde ganun yung tingin ko sayo Mika, and hinde ko kayang isipin yang sinasabe mo. Pero oo, masasaktan ako ng sobra pag-ginawa mo yon. Sobra sobra..." 

"You messed up Keith."

"I know. I hurt you, the only girl I've ever really love. Mika, can I... I want to... don't I get a second chance?" 

Second chance? Paulit-ulit kong sinabe sa isip ko. Everybody deserve a second chance, pero kaya ko na ba agad ibigay yon? 

"I don't know Keith. Maybe, Maybe not. But I'm sure I can't give you one right now." I stared directly to his eyes. Those eyes that I used to love. God, I'll miss him. I'll miss everything we had. Nasasaktan man ako pero wala akong nireregret sa naging relationship namen. 

Am I too soft? I don't think so. We had our share of mistake but I can never hate him that much. I'm just hurt. Yea, just hurt.

But one thing is for sure, hinde ko in-expect yung mga sunod na ginawa ni Keith. He started to sob.

He's crying, the guy I loved so much, is crying. All his defenses crushing down to pieces. 

I feel my heart shatter. Anong nangyare samin? Baket kami nasira ng ganto? 

Hinde ko alam gagawin ko, kaya naman hinde na ko nagdalawang isip at lumapit ako sakanya at niyakap siya. If we're going to end this we need to be clear about everything. I need to forgive him and he need to accept that I can't be with him anymore.