c h a p t e r f o u r

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Thursday, 22nd September

Today was a normal day. Which meant I didn't sleep with anyone.

Sleeping - or fucking - with someone would have helped me sleep.

I would've known there was another presence next to me. And that would help me.

But Jacques is too busy drinking his troubles away and I wouldn't have asked him to sleep with me anyway.

That's paedophilic.

So, instead I suffer the nightmares.

***

"I'm sorry, Amanda." Daddy said while tying a noose around his neck.

His gaze goes from me and to the woman having an aneurysm on the floor.

Mom!

"I'm sorry, Amanda. I'm so sorry."

And then he's hanging in mid-air. His face pale - like death, like ice.

I touch his hand.
It's cold.

***

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