Because of you

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I pace around the room of requirement while I wait for Hermione. I'm nervous as hell. I've never been this nervous about anything. This meeting might be a complete disaster. It's the one chance that I have. If I mess this up, I might never get another chance with her. It's really freaking me out.
I check my watch for the thousandth time. Dinner should be out by now. I've been nervous since I received her letter. That's why I skipped the feast. I'm so nervous I can't eat. Now I'm just pacing around an empty room and my heart is racing. All I can do now is wait. And wait. And wait.
I jump as the doors to the room creak open. My heart stops and I clinch my chest. It takes a moment for me to calm down. Hermione just watches me as I regain control of myself. Two chairs appear as I start breathing normally so I go and sit in one. Hermione does the same.
We sit in silence for awhile. I don't know what to say and I'm not sure if she does either. My nerves get the better of me and I start twiddling my thumbs. Hermione watches me for a moment. After awhile she sighs and looks me in the eyes. 

"What exactly were you apologizing for earlier?" She asks.

"Everything." I whisper.

She stares at the fire that appeared with the chairs. I follow her gaze and watch the flames dance as the logs burn. After a few minutes I just look at her. Her face doesn't betray anything that she might be feeling. I'm nervous because I don't know what she's feeling. It's unnerving. Especially since I'm in love with her. I really want her to at least be civil towards me. Right now it seems like she doesn't necessarily hate me, but I don't know.

"What are you thinking?" I ask.

"I don't know if I can forgive everything you've done." She sighs.

"I know."

"Why did you apologize to me?"

"I want you to know that I'm not as bad as I've acted the last few years."

Hermione goes back to looking at the fire. I look at my hands in my lap. This is going to be hard for her to believe. After all, I've been horrible to a lot of people but I've been cruelest to her. My life has been hell since I was born and I'm sure I've made at least a part of her life just as bad. It probably doesn't help that my aunt tortured her last year. I'm sure that she remembers that and so do I.

"Why didn't you tell her?" Hermione whispers.

"What?" I reply although I think I know what she's talking about.

"You knew it was Harry. Why didn't you tell her?"

"I told you. I'm not really as bad as I've acted."

"That's not why you didn't tell her though is it?"

I look up at her and I get the sinking feeling that she knows. I'm not exactly sure how she would know, but that look in her eyes tells me that she knows. My heart starts to beat faster. Should I tell her the truth? Does she expect me to? Is it really possible that she knows?

"Why do you think I didn't tell her?" I ask.

I look at Draco and I can tell that he's panicking. He knows by now that I know he's in love with me. I'm positive that he knows. I don't think he wants me to know though. That's why he's not answering directly. He wants me to say it first. I'm not sure if I want to though. Surely he knows that I'm in love with Ron. I suppose that that doesn't change the way he feels about me though. What are his intentions though?

"Because you love me." I whisper.

At first I'm not sure if he hears me. His face remains the same as before. I look at him and I realize that he's in a state of shock. The emotions he's feeling don't show on his face, but his eyes show everything. He's scared, happy, shocked, hurt, excited and amused all at the same time. When he finally snaps out of it, fear is the dominant emotion on his face.

"How do you feel about that?" He asks.

I look at him and he doesn't avoid my gaze. I'm not entirely sure how to respond. Actually, I don't know how I feel. I should be angry or at least a bit unnerved. The opposite is true though. I'm actually a bit... happy that he cares about me. If someone had told me two years ago that Draco Malfoy was in love with me, I probably would have called them crazy. Now that I know though, I'm actually rather excited. I suppose it's just nice to know that he's not an awful person. Or at least he isn't anymore.

"I'm not sure how to feel." I lie.

"You can be honest with me." Draco says.

"I'm... I don't know how to word it."

"Just tell me how you really feel."

"I'm happy."

Draco furrows his brow and I can tell that he's confused. I laugh a little bit. I've never seen him confused and it's actually rather amusing. He glares at me for a moment. This only makes me laugh more because I know he's not actually angry. After awhile he just rolls his eyes and smiles. His smile is genuine and it makes me smile.

"So... can we be friends then?" Draco asks and even though he's smiling I can tell that he's deathly afraid that I'll say no.

"Of course." I smile.