Because of you

Chapter 18

A/N: Reminder that this is in Hermione's POV

I walk over to where Ron is sitting and sit down across from him. The bell rings softly, letting me know that Draco has just left the building. Ron watches me sit down before looking into my eyes. He opens his mouth but I hold up a hand to stop him. It'll be easier if I just tell him how I feel now instead of letting him speak under false pretenses.

"Ron. I know that you still care about me and I understand that, but you have to know that I don't feel the same way." I say while trying not to look into his eyes.

"I don't understand." He breathes.

"I love Draco, Ron."

"I know. You've said that before, but I don't know how that's possible."

"He's a good person, Ron. He never meant to do all of those horrible things and he's really sweet and kind to me."

"Until he hurts you."

"He's not going to hurt me, Ron."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he isn't you."

I bite my lip and look down at the table as soon as the words leave my mouth. I'd hoped that we weren't going to get into this today. It's not something I like to dwell on and I'm sure that Ron doesn't appreciate talking about it either. I'm not sure how he feels about it, but I know that saying Draco is better than him is going to upset him. In more ways than one probably.

"You're right. I'm not a lying Death Eater." Ron spits.

"And neither is he!" I shout at him.

"Yes he is! I bet the marks still on his arm. Hermione he's an evil bloke!"

"No he isn't Ron!"

"How do you know that?"

"I've actually had several conversations with him, Ron. You've never even talked to him so how can you possibly know that he's evil?"

"I... I just know."

"You just know? That's it then, I guess he must evil."

"Hermione, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"Like you were looking out for me when you cheated on me?"

I'm starting to think that we aren't going to be able to avoid this issue. Maybe it would be better to just talk about it. I really don't feel like listening to him explain it though. There's really nothing he could say that would make it hurt any less. The fact of the matter is that he cheated on me and I don't need to know why he did it. The fact that he did hurts enough.

"Hermione, I'm really sorry about that. I've told you that more times than I can count. I made a mistake Hermione. Can't you forgive me?" Ron pleads.

"I'm not sure Ron." I whisper.

"You forgave him!"

"I know I did and I know that he hurt me too, maybe just as much as you did. I just don't know how to feel Ron."

"So you can't forgive me?"

"I don't know. Maybe eventually, but right now it still hurts Ron. I might be able to forgive you eventually, but I don't think we could ever be in a relationship again."

"Can we at least be friends?"

Ron stretches his hand across the table and looks at me. I avert my eyes and look at his outstretched hand. What am I supposed to say? What should I say? I really have missed him, but am I ready to be friends with him? I'm not ready to date him again and I know that's what he really wants. Being friends with him could be dangerous and I feel like I could end up leading him on. I want to be friends with him, but can I really be friends with him and Draco at the same time?