CLOUDED MINDS , NATE MALOLEY

.4//big sister kass

kassidy

[trigger warning]

i couldn't sleep. i tossed and turned. my thoughts consumed me, reminding me of how much i hate myself, and how i'll never be good for anyone. i felt the tears run down.

i'll forever hate myself. i'll forever be alone. and i'll never be happy. i stood up from my bed, grabbing the blade and quietly walking to the bathroom. without thinking i slid the blade across my arms.

i watched as blood seeped through the fresh cuts. i looked in the mirror, my eyes red and puffy. i wiped away the running tears, hating what i see.

why am i like this?

why couldn't i just be normal? i'd rather jump from a bridge then be here anymore. there's nothing here for me. nobody to look after, nobody to care about.

no one.

nothing. nothing to remind myself that i should be here, and nothing to fight for. because in the end, who would fight for me? no one. no one would, because i'm me. kassidy clarke meyers.

the depressed suicidal girl, that no one cares enough about to try and help get rid of her problems. the girl who no one would give a fuck if she died. i sighed forcefully wiping tears away.

"hello?" i heard a small little voice asked, small foot steps trailing after wards. i turned around in confusion, am i hearing things?

"hello?" the small voice called again i quickly bandaged myself, hiding the blade deep in my pocket. i slowly walked into the hallway, hearing the small footsteps again.

"is anyone awake?" the voice asked, it came from downstairs. i quietly walked downstairs, hearing the voice grow louder.

"mom? dad?" it called, i now could see the figure, a little kid spinning around looking for something. he spotted me an froze.

"hey, what are you doing in the house?" i asked, who was this kid? why was he here?

"w-who are you?" he asked, he tiny voice faint and scared.

"i'm kassidy, who are you?" i asked, the little kid walked up to me.

"my name's benjamin." he said, i nodded switching on the lamp. the kid had blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. a few cuts on his face.

"what happened to your face, benjamin? or can i call you benjy?" he covered his cheek with his hand. "don't worry, benjy, i just want to know what happened." he looked up at me.

"i was punched by some kids in my school." he answered, i sighed kneeling down to his height. he had to be five or six. i put my thumbs on his cheek, caressing his cheek.

"how old are you, benjy?" i asked, he stared into my chocolate brown eyes.

"i-i'm six." he answered, i nodded and continued to calm him down.

"what are you doing here, benjy?" i asked, he looked around.

"they took my out of that place and brought me here. they said i'd have a sister, but i didnt meet her." i nodded, this is my now adopted brother.

"they adopted you?" i asked, he nodded.

"yeah! they did that, and brought me here." i nodded.

"well, benjy, i'm your big sister. where's your bed at?" i asked, he pointed to the couch.

"okay, how about this? i'll let you sleep with me until you get a bed, how's that?" i asked, he nodded, i smiled and grabbed his hand leading the way to my room.