The Broken Pieces Left Behind

Chapter 10

Denial was a great thing. 

I had manged to convince Erin - at least partially convince her - that I wasn't with anyone outside and that there was nothing going on. I'd just needed some air away from the crowd. Even though she didn't look much convinced by it, I was unknowingly aided by Scooter who provided a much needed distraction when he carted her away to the dance floor.   

The crowd had thinned a bit even though the party was in full swing and still overflowing with now drunk teenagers. I sat alone in a corner, not wanting to be subjected to Erin's interrogation just yet, my mind replaying the scene with Jack with alarming clarity. I could still feel the brush of his body against mine. Still feel the frantic pounding of my heart and the way I'd felt the moments before I left him standing there. My thumb brushed my lips and I sighed pushing my fingers through my hair.

My eyes scanned the room for a head of dark, long hair and disappointment coursed through me when I saw nothing of him. Did he leave already? And why was I looking for him anyway?

On the drive home Erin was too tired to continue on with her line of questioning but had promised to be here tomorrow for me to tell her what I wasn't telling her now so I was safe - at least until tomorrow. 

By Saturday morning I had assured myself that I would have pushed him away. That no matter how much I may have wanted to, I wouldn't have let Jack kiss me. It was a foolish notion because deep down I knew that it was untrue, but yet still that was what I told myself. 

I think the most lies we ever tell, are the ones we tell to ourselves. 

Standing in the kitchen leaning against the counter that morning, munching on cereal I went through my mental list, more from habit, today for a distraction. 

"Oh honey, you're still here," voiced Sara as she entered the kitchen not a hair out of place but she was still dressed in a white silk robe that swished just above her knees - this one was at least modest. 

"I was just about to leave," I nodded, padding over to the sink and turning on the water to rinse out the bowl. 

"I'm thinking about making dinner tonight. What do you think? You me and Damon can have a family dinner," Great she was back to playing the homemaker. "So you should come home early today alright."

"Okay," I mumbled shrugging into an over-sized plaid shirt, that I had previously draped over the back of a stool.

"Oh Becca are you honestly going out in that," her disapproving gaze moved down the length of my body.

"Yeah," I answered looking down at my faded blue jeans and well worn pale blue t-shirt, I didn't see anything wrong with the way I looked. "I gotta go mom."

I pushed my feet into a pair of thong sandals hurrying out the door as she called after me to be home early. 

I had spent all day trying to come up with an excuse to avoid "Family Dinner" but I didn't find any, and if I did miss it I knew that the drama Sara would put up would be along the lines of a Broadway Production.

Sara was a great cook and when I entered the apartment the scent of food hit me hard and pangs of hunger cramped my stomach. She was animated as she waited for the last of whatever she was making to finish and I could tell that Sara was happy, Damon had another beer in his hand his roaming eyes tracking everything. 

The doorbell rang and I shot up from my seat offering to answer it.

He stood at my front door his hand hidden in the pockets of his jeans and all my previously crafted denials came crashing down around me from the moment his eyes met with mine. So maybe denial wasn't such a great thing after all.