The Usual... A Max Schneider Fan Fiction

Chapter Sixteen: For His Sake

~ I will try to fix you... ~

Chapter Sixteen: For His Sake

I swore to all that is holy on this earth, if Max did not stop walking around my in nothing but a damn towel every time he got out of the shower, I was going to go batshit insane.

Some part of me thought he might've been trying to tempt me, but after the whole thing about his virginity, I couldn't figure out why he'd tempt me; it just didn't make sense. Most of the time I had to keep myself from looking at him. I didn't want to pressure him, honestly, it was the last thing I wanted to do. Sex wasn't my goal; making love was my goal, and it seemed to be his goal too, if he could figure out a way to let himself be truly happy.

Our make out sessions had been getting more - intense - since we talked about it that night. I couldn't tell if he wanted to go any further or not, but this fucking tension was starting to get to me, hardcore.

During one particularly heated session, Max's hand was creeping higher up my shirt than normal; I wasn't complaining, lord was I not complaining, but the instant he seemed to become conscious of his actions, he became hesitant. His hand retracted to my back and instead began tracing circles on the skin there. I had to stop myself from groaning aloud, wanting to figure out how I could make him comfortable... I could feel how badly he want to be able to make love to me, but he for some reason couldn't let himself go long enough to be okay with letting himself feel loved like that again. I didn't know if there was any way I could make it easier on him, or if I just had to let time heal his wounds.

He pulled away a little, out of breath and looking up at me where I was hovering over him, straddling his waist. Max pulled my shirt down a little, his brown eyes deeply saddened. I smiled at him in comfort, watching him close his eyes again.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, shaking his head lightly. I let out a small laugh, kissing his nose.

"I told you before," I began. "I told you I wouldn't ever pressure you, baby," my soft voice reminded him. "I told you I wanted you to be okay with how far we go; and I meant what I said."

Max nodded, his eyes closed as tears began streaking down his face. "Dammit," he murmured. "Dammit..."

I slowly felt Max shift, his arms moving me to his lap. Max held me closely, cradling me almost, his face buried in my neck. "I love you," he murmured softly, almost sadly. I smiled slightly, running my fingers through his hair to soothe him.

"I love you too," I assured him gently. Max was still silently crying, listening as I tried my best to console him. He slowly calmed down enough to look at me, though he didn't try to assure me that he was okay; because I knew and he knew he wasn't.

"I'm gonna go, okay?" Max suddenly whispered. "I'm gonna stop somewhere on my way home."

I nodded, even though I so desperately wanted him to stay and let me make him feel better. Max tried his best to smile at me as he kissed my cheek, slowly, before making himself stand. "I'll see you tomorrow, little dove."

I nodded again, grabbing his hand as he began walking towards the door. "Hey..." I spoke, gently. I waited for him to meet my gaze before saying anything, wanting him to look me in the eyes when I spoke. "I love you," I told him again, feeling the sincerity of my words dripping lightly into the room. Max managed a real smile, a tiny one, through his tear-stained state.

"I love you too, baby," he told me. I slowly let him go, watching him bend over to kiss my curls. He grabbed his jacket and made his way out of my apartment, shutting the door after him as I flopped back on my couch. I was getting a migraine, and my body was convulsing against it, making me desire nothing more than to take some pills and curl up on the couch with Storm, watching movies into the early hours of the morning... I knew I wasn't getting to sleep tonight.