The Usual... A Max Schneider Fan Fiction

Chapter Thirty-Five: Wandering

~ Some day you'll look back on all these days, and all this pain is gonna be invisible... ~

Chapter Thirty-Five: Wandering

Daddy died later than night.

I don't remember when it happened, but Max said I was pretty hysterical. I clung to my father's lifeless body as they tried to pull him from the room, and apparently there was a lot of screaming; so much, in fact, that Max had to cover my mouth when he held me back, and it took both him and Lucas to keep me restrained. They eventually got me to turn around, and I attacked Max instead, cowering into his chest and grasping at his body like I was drowning, desperately sobbing and wailing into his chest.

I don't recall any of it though, except one small detail:

It was storming.

* * * * *

The next time I regained conscious thought, I was at home and in bed.

I slowly sat up, looking around the room. I didn't remember at all how I'd gotten there, but it was pitch black outside, and I was in a pair of Max's boxers and one of his hoodies. I suddenly remembered that Dad had passed though, and everything in body broke down into sobs and broken cries. You'd think I would have been able to prepare myself, knowing that he was going to die... But somehow, I wasn't prepared at all.

"Symphony?"

Max was beside me now, quietly taking me into his arms. I threw myself into his comforting touch, letting him hold me softly and whisper gently into my ear.

"It's okay, baby," he murmured, adjusting me quietly. He laid me down again, this time in his arms, watching as I curled to his chest, feeling weak and vulnerable and broken as he began lightly humming to me, leaving small kisses in my hair.

"Don't leave me..." I begged him quietly, my sobs uncontrolled and pitiful. Max shook his head, pressing my face into his neck.

"Wouldn't even dream of it, little dove," he whispered. "Let it all out, sweet girl. Cry yourself out, if only for now."

I nodded, bawling against him. "That's it," he encouraged. "You don't have to be strong for me."

I wrapped into his body, feeling little and small in this huge mean world. I didn't know how I would keep going; how was I supposed to, with everything crumbling around me?

"I'm not gonna be okay, am I?" I asked Max numbly. My boyfriend didn't like the question, and I could feel it in the way his body tensed. He sighed.

"Not for a while," Max responded honestly. "But you will be. Eventually you'll be able to think about him without crying. But for now, no; you're not gonna be okay."

His voice gave me comfort, along with his strong, assuring words. "Would you sing to me?" I asked softly, my voice hesitant. "Please?"

Max only wrapped me closer. "Of course, my sweet Symphony."

He sang softly to me, letting me quietly cry myself out. Eventually, I fell asleep again, and woke up alone, sprawled out across our bed with the dog and cat at my stomach.

When I sat up this time, I held in all my emotions as I notched the peering sunlight, slowly standing and crossing my arms. Max's hoodie was huge on me, especially since it was already a size too big on him, and it gave me more comfort than I think he could've possibly known.

I quietly padded down the hall, stopping short when I heard talking in the living room. "She won't be asleep much longer," I heard Sophie's voice. "Lucas did the same thing a little while ago. He's asleep again though."