The Usual... A Max Schneider Fan Fiction

Bonus: Alternate Plot Chapter

Alternate Plot-line: Picks up in the middle of chapter thirty-seven

Fifty-four pills.

I'd done it.

There were fifty-four pills in my stomach.

I laid down on the bathroom floor, hearing Lucas yelling at me from behind the door. None of it mattered though, because it was done. All I had to do now was get through the pain and wait for my body to give out.

"Symphony!"

Max's voice startled me, but I couldn't do anything now. I felt the pain begin encroaching on my stomach, closing my eyes as the world began spinning. I heard voices scream, but my head began pounding and my ears started ringing, keeping me from doing anything but shifting in pain. It felt suddenly like thousands of knives and pins and needles were being thrusted into my stomach all at once, and I let out a long, piercing scream.

My ears registered a loud banging behind me, and there were suddenly hands on my arm, turning me onto my back. I kept my eyes shut tightly, my arms folding over my stomach as I tried desperately to ignore the fucking pain.

"Symphony!" I heard my name, but I kept my eyes shut. "You took the fucking pills, didn't you?!"

I slowly recognized the voice as Max's, but I kept myself balled up tightly, ignoring everything around me. I screamed again as he shifted me into a sitting position, curling up and ignoring his words as he spoke to me.

But as the seconds passed while they tried to figure out what to do, the pain intensified, leaving me a writhing mess and Max a hysterical panic. I heard someone on the phone with 911, but that's all I managed, screaming again as I felt myself slowly giving into the pain.

For the first time since Max made it into the bathroom, I opened my eyes, meeting tearful, broken brown ones. "Symphony!" I barely heard Max over the ringing in my ears. "Breathe, baby, you aren't breathing!"

I took a huge gasp of air, but stopped halfway through, letting out another screech. Max's features panicked, grabbing harshly at my arms. "You're gonna hate me," he said. "You're never gonna speak to me again. But I love you so much, Simmy..."

I screamed and my vision fuzed, feeling myself being turned over on all fours. Max moved me roughly, desperately trying to save me in any way that he could, pushing me towards the bathtub and forcing me to lean over the edge of it. He stood and locked his legs around my back to keep me still, murmuring something into my still ringing ear, before prying open my jaw and shoving his fingers in my mouth.

It occurred to my darkening mind that he was trying to make me throw up; trying to get rid of the medicine, and the part of me that longed so deeply for death reacted quickly... I bit down on his fingers, hard, and somewhere I heard him call out in pain as his hand retracted. I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but his legs held me in place, using his other hand to force his fingers down my throat again.

In an instant, every single bit of stomach content I had spewed from my mouth and into the bathtub, all over Max's hand and arm. I felt him step back and use his clean hand to pull my hair from my face as I continuously vomited, and I felt tears stream down my face as I watched my only hope of leaving this earth leave my body...

Eventually I passed out.

* * * * *

I woke up to a quiet beeping noise and the smell of disinfectant.

My body was heavy and the sounds of movement were muffled by what felt like water in my ears. I was weak, unable to move myself, the constant ache that pulsed through my stomach like a sharp echo of a pain I wished silently I'd never have to know again...