The Usual... A Max Schneider Fan Fiction

Chapter Twenty-Six: Lifted

~ Look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide ~

Chapter Twenty-Six: Lifted

Max smiled sheepishly; he was nervous, and he wasn't trying at all to hide it.

"Hey..." I said, walking to him and setting my hands on his shoulders. "C'mere," I told him, hugging his body against mine. He relaxed slightly into the embrace, even more so as I began playing with his dark curls. He let out a long breath, kissing my hair gently.

"Do you still want me to come with you?" I asked Max, feeling his fingers tracing absent circles on my back. Max nodded avidly, pulling away and watching me with soft brown eyes.

"Y-Yeah," he managed, swallowing and trying his best to smile. It was weak and strained, which only made my heart hurt for him. "I, uh... I don't know how well I'd hold up without you there..."

I nodded a little, kissing his shoulder. "Hold on," I said, slowly walking away, towards my kitchen. I grabbed something from my fridge, taking it back to him and smiling gently at him.

Max's eyes widened at what I had in my hands, taking them from me when I offered. "For Adeline," I said. "You said sunflowers were her favorite, right?"

Max nodded, clutching the flowers to his chest. "Oh, my Symphony..." he whispered, slowly walking back over to me and cupping my jaw, gently pressing his lips against my forehead. "You're being so sweet about this."

I bit my lip. In all honesty, I was nervous out of my mind. I didn't know how this was gonna go; I was worried for my boyfriend. I hated seeing him upset.

"It's gonna be a rough time for you," I said. "I don't wanna make it worse by being difficult."

Max gave me a sad smile. "I'm grateful," he whispered. "More than you can know, baby."

I nodded, kissing his cheek sweetly. "Are you ready, Max?"

My boyfriend sighed, still holding the flowers against his chest. "Yeah," he finally told me. "Let's go, before I talk myself out of it."

I nodded at him again, slowly taking his hand in mine. "Alright," I said. He tried to send me a small smile, and actually succeeded a little, managing to give me this soft curl at the corner of his lips. I wanted to desperately to comfort him, to tell him he didn't have to do this, but I knew it was something he wanted to do, something he might've even needed to do, for himself.

The cemetery where Adeline laid was closer than the one my mom was buried in. It only took us about ten minutes to get to the outskirts of Chicago, where she was buried in a family plot, Max had told me. Max was anxious the whole ride there, and he didn't let go of my hand at all; he didn't even sing along to the music in the background. He looked over at me once, a small frown on his face.

"I guess this is how you felt when we went to see your mom," he spoke quietly. "I'm sorry for putting you through that," he murmured, softly kissing my fingers. I felt both loved and a little saddened that even when he was in such a rough state, his thoughts were always of me.

I shrugged in response to his statement, holding Adeline's flowers. "It's alright, Max," I told him. "It needed to happen, and I certainly wasn't willing to make it happen."

Max kissed my fingers again, only nodding. He was trying to act strong, and although admirable, it wasn't necessary; I'd seen him at his most vulnerable, and there was no part of him that I wasn't willing to love back to full strength.

When Max pulled in, he put the car in park, but didn't move. He only let go of the wheel and leaned back, slowly, his movements heavy, as if it wasn't even his own body. His eyes sort of glazed over momentarily, staring blankly out the windshield, as if remembering something for the first time in a while. I hesitantly set my hand on his thigh, watching his attention snap back to the present moment with me.