"Hold my hand" ~ Taekook ♥

Bruised.

I wrote something the other day but it got lost along with the chaos. 

- departedlovers

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{Taehyung}

Jungkook and Jimin kept talking about random TV shows until we reached the school's gate. I would have joined in but in all honestly, my mind kept replaying last night's scene and this morning over and over like some sappy love song stuck on repeat. And Mr. Jeon's words were not helping, I kept on wondering just why was Jungkook that worried and frantic about me last night. Specifically, why would he come over to check up on the boy that only knows his name and age. Aghh, this boy I swear.  

"Taehyung!"

"Yeah?"

"Were you listening at all to what I was saying?"

"No sorry Jiminie, I'm a bit sleepy."

I looked towards my right to see Jiminie crossing his arms but I knew he was just acting and Jungkook, well Jungkook was looking at me with the same scrunched up face as last night. (Are you okay Tae....?) I quickly turned my head away and continued walking before my mind started analyzing his facial expression. "Aghh, as I was saying today at lunch time we are all meeting up on the rooftop stairs. So Jungkook can meat Hoseok Hyung and Yoongi Hyung, plus it's quieter there."

"Sure, sounds fun."

. . . . . . .

Same morning routine, same faces, same classrooms, same teachers, same boring lectures that I gave up on listing to a long time ago. Everything is the same. Only know I can add Jungkook's face to the many other faces imprinted into my mind. Adding him to the same daily routine, I felt guilty for some reason because he wasn't colorless like everything else around me. But I didn't want to fall in love with his colour, it didn't belong to me. And I sure as hell didn't want to taint.  

As the clock ticked down the last minutes to lunch break so did my patients. Irritation running wild inside my bones, wanting to get up and just bolt. As soon as the bell rang and the teacher dismissed us I frantically stood up from my seat, the chair falling back and the room falling into silences as every possible eye looked my eye. Even the skeleton in the corner of the room eyed me suspiciously. 

"I have to go pee!" I nervously scratched my left arm as I tucked my chair back in and sheepishly walked out of the classroom. I heard some students giggling at my behavior while others went back to packing up. Smooth Taehyung, smooth.

I went the third-floor bathroom because it always seemed a bit more emptier. I didn't really have to go but I thought that maybe washing my face could help me cool down a bit. But sadly it did nothing.

So while everyone was heading towards the cafeteria, I made my way to the back of the school. There is an abandoned track field a little past the school, which I find myself going there more often than I can remember hanging out with the gang. It was so serene and beautiful and most importantly it does a swell job at making me forget about the world. That's where I find joy in pretending that nothing is wrong, that everything is just an illusion. The abandoned area around this time of the year was covered in a blanket of snow and it was beautifully silent.  

But my favorite time is during the blazing hot summer. When the grass grew too long in some areas, where tulips grew around the rusty wooden bleachers and dandelions all around. How the grass danced along with the wind. And when it was rainy, the worms would come out and lay on the track field; I always thought it was really cool and some days I would just sit and observe their behaviors. There were fences all around but a few years back a severe thunderstorm knocked some of the fences out of their place. Nobody thought much about replacing them thinking that no one comes here anymore. Oh,but how wrong they were.

I made my way over to my favorite spot. It was beautiful Willow tree that grew near one of the bleachers and the view was breathtaking. Even though it was now winter and the leaves long gone, it still upheld its beauty, just a different kind. Because there was snow on both the bleachers and the ground, I decided to climb and sit on the first bark of the tree. Though the tree was old and creaked every time I climbed on top, I never thought much of it. It would be a pleasure to get hurt by nature then compared to getting hurt by humans.

Once I made by way to the top I hiked by legs across the bark, back pressed back against the tree trunk. I was all bundled up in my coat and scarf so I laid back perfectly warm and decided to take a nap. My restless mind and heavy thoughts coming to an end at this moment. Completely ignoring my consciousness telling me to climb back down and go to the planned meeting area with my friends.

They'll understand if I tell them a good lie. What's the harm?